Microsoft tries too hard--yet again--in their new Surface Pro 4 ad geared ENTIRELY toward Hipster Millennials. The singing narrator wears a fedora and points out all the ways a Hipster Surface user can be productive. Mostly yawn-inducing, the one highlight is the inexplicably NIGHTMARE-INDUCING "hat for your cat" visual near the beginning:
We don't know what the hell you were thinking, Microsoft, but we want to see MORE of nightmare cat.
This commercial features all kinds of families and reminds us that Valentine's Day can be about celebrating family love too.
It has candid video of different kinds of people, some adopted, some LGBT coming out to their parents and finding acceptance. All of them lucky enough to be surrounded by people who love them. Who knew graham crackers could be so touching? Just don't watch this in public, it might make you cry.
Not us, though. We're fine over here, it's just really dusty.
Geico's omniscient presence on just about every scrap of markable media has turned into a leviathan, swallowing up attention spans and indoctrinating us living, free beings with the ever present possibility that we could save more money on car insurance.
Cavemen, ducks, lizards, dogs, camels, chickens, men, women, everything has been used to pass off some small thrifty message across seemingly every streaming show, every magazine page and every banner ad.
30 Rock discussed it five freaking years ago:
But that was even before the five second ads in front of YouTube videos or the camels exhausted by rubes screaming about hump day.
So, some devious bastard thought it would be a great idea to smash all of the commercials on the same video, probably just to see at what point the average person's eyes start to bleed.
Magnalux Pictures offered up their lovingly titled "Every F*cking Geico Ad Played at Once" for you're viewing pleasure, saying:
Finally, you can see every last f*cking Geico ad played at the same time, because our digital adspace wasn't bombarded enough by these things already.
Well, TMZ got ahold of the commercial and now you can see medieval warriors call in help via smartphone, hear about a 'hero coming along' a few times and try to catch a few seconds of Mariah wielding a flaming crossbow.
Of course, the multi-platinum singer is taking over for Kate Upton. You know you know her. Here's another look at her 2015 Super Bowl commercial if you need/would like a reminder.
We're not sure if this game is any good. All the b00bs they throw at us hasn't left us wanting to actually try it. Someone must be, we can't imagine these ladies consider their time to be cheap.
Have you played this celebrity-led, silly-looking game?
Fast food restaurants have really figured out how to get on the news cycle lately — namely through doing weird stuff that makes no sense.
Not six months ago, Darrell Hammond resurrected the corporate mascot of Colonel Sanders to sling fried chicken at a hungry America. And now, for a reason that is very unclear, fellow Saturday Night Live alum Norm Macdonald is stepping into the three-piece suit to replace him.
For the first ads, we rebooted things that made Kentucky Fried Chicken the most favorite chicken brand in the world. We brought back the Colonel's iconic office, his white stretch limo, and the children's mandolin band he outfitted with instruments and white Colonel Suits to create authentic Kentucky bluegrass music. And the new set of ads are more of that same homage to the things that made Kentucky Fried Chicken such an important part of American families.
This is pretty dumb. But we can't bring ourselves close enough to care about any part of it.