fart

patient fart surgery starts fire
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People hold in their farts where they're in mixed company. It's called being polite. But sometimes, when we're at our most vulnerable, supressing a fart can prove impossible, and the results can be dangerous. 

This Tokyo woman found that out the hard way, when during surgery, she passed gas and caused a fire that left her seriously burned.

"The patient, in her 30s, was undergoing an operation which involved applying a laser to her cervix, the lower part of the uterus," reports The Straits Times. "The laser is believed to have been ignited by the gas she passed. The fire burnt much of her body, including her waist and legs"

After a thorough investigation, which found that no flammable materials in the operating room, the hospital determined that flatulence must be culprit. No word as to whether the patient denied it and, thus, supplied it. 

"When the patient's intestinal gas leaked into the space of the operation (room), it ignited with the irradiation of the laser, and the burning spread, eventually reaching the surgical drape and causing the fire," said the hospital report. 

Let this serve as a warning for all of us. Sure, they make a funny noise, but farts can be deadly. Even the silent ones. Farts are gas. Please stop lighting your farts before someone gets hurt. 

via GIPHY

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Looks like we have a new Grumpy Cat on our hands.

YouTuber Onur Armagan tried to impress the Internet this week by showing off his massive whoopee cushion. (Note: It is very impressive.)

But his furry little friend was not as excited about it as he was.

“My cat hates me,” he writes in the caption. “I think she’s secretly been planning my demise since 2011. It’s only a matter of time.”

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At first this just stinks, and then it’s music to your ears.

A comedy duo from Australia called the Shonky Brothers have turned some flatulence into a “7-tone fart symphony.”

One of the brothers named Loz, recently farted, and the two realized there was something very special about it.

When the audio is slowed down, as demonstrated in the video above, it becomes recognizable as a major seventh arpeggio in the key of B flat.

It’s “the greatest fart I ever did,” Loz writes in the video.

You can listen to the final product below, which he calls his “Magnum Anus,” and even make it your ringtone!

By Unknown
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Farting Funny-Faced Dog of the Day: "Dog farts and makes funny face." Otherwise known as "welcome to the Internet, this is what we do."

[bwe.]

community,fart,Rough Draft
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Rough Draft of the Day: Community showrunner Dan Harmon tweeted this page from what is supposedly the script of an upcoming episode of the show.

Seems like something of a step down creatively, but I do like the part about farts. 

[splitsider.]

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