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Trending Panda Express Chork News
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Panda Express announced today that it is considering using a new utensil called a "Chork" in it's restaurant locations, despite having a name that sounds like what happens when you eat too much Panda Express:

"Don't step there... I just chorked out my beef with broccoli."







It's a half-chopstick, half-fork contraption that could either fling plastic bits into your mouth, or make shovelling General Tso's into your gullet waaay easier...


Either way, the internet agrees the name is just stupid...







trending news subway employee drugs cop
Via: Uproxx
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Utah, America's northern-most Florida, has done it again.

A Subway employee in Layton decided to punk a cop by putting a cocktail of marijuana, THC and methamphetamine in his drink, as the world's dumbest free-gift-with-purchase idea.

A video shows the clerk leaning over the Officer's drink a little too long, and the unnamed Sergeant had his colleagues test his drink after he tried to drive back to the station and started to feel all wonky.



The Subway presumptive-former-employee is busy thinking about what he did in a jail cell right now.

Trending Cincinnati Bengals Harambe Change.org Petition
Via: Change.org
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Harambe, the magical ape who touched our fuzzy hearts now has a petition to name the Cincinnati Bengals after him. I can't think of a better way to kick Tom Brady's ass than by a band of gorillas.



There is already a petition to rename Humboldt Park after him, so we'll see if Cincinnati can get their sh*t together and honor this fine creature of nature.


#DicksoutforHarambe


fire-department-posts-status-about-child-slashing-their-tires
Via: chron
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A fire department hailing out of Needville, Texas was recently forced to remove their status as a PokéStop due to public safety concerns; and the events that ensued after (slashing of tires) are being blamed on Pokémon GO players. What do you guys think---this a fair and warranted claim by the fire department?

Via: News 24
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Ms Milho, a transgender woman, said to The Daily Beast that ‘the universe was spinning. I thought he could do basically anything to me. I felt my power was stripped away from me. Milho's recordings also reveal Villanueva bragging on about other women on community service who have given him sexual favours to leave work early– including a young mother, who he says was ‘the best I had in a long time’.

Villanueva asks Ms Milho to keep it all a secret after their conversation comes to an end. Sorry buddy, but this sh*t's going viral. See the perv below:

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Over his 26-year-career Luke Aikins has landed over 18,000 jumps. Aikins has worked as a stuntman in Ironman 3 and Godzilla. Thing is, this jump was a whole different story from the get-go; this time Aikins had every intention to take the dive with no parachute, wearing nothing but the clothes on his back.

Unfortunately, the SAG-AFTRA Union voiced safety concerns and they weren't going to allow their members to work on the show unless Aikins wore a parachute...(booooo)

So, Aikins conceded, donned the parachute, and as fate would have it, a last second break in the restrictions -- while he was in the damn air, no less -- allowed for him to complete his dive without the parachute! He took it off immediately, and boom. Just plain old, balls to the wall, epic.

Anyone out there wanna be the best like no one ever was - but in the sheets?...Well these Pokémon-inspired dildos might be just what you're looking for.

Specifically, 'Pokémoan' is a creation from Geeky Sex Toys, a workshop of self-proclaimed 'cheeky nerds', currently based out of Brisbane, Australia. Brace yourself folks, cause some of the following images aren't exactly 'office-friendly'!

brock,Pokémon,news,pokemon go,sex toys,squirtle,pikachu,sexy times,funny
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