Judge Joe Brown goes to jail in Tennessee.
Via: Yahoo
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How the tables have turned for Judge Joe Brown.

He turned himself in to the Tennessee penal system Aug. 27 for a 2014 contempt of court charge. He will serve five days for reported losing his temper in a court room.

And to think, he used to get paid for that.

Yahoo tells how the ex-judge found himself behind bars.

Brown, 68, was observing juvenile court proceedings at the Shelby County Criminal Court in Memphis, Tennessee last March when he was approached by a woman who asked him to take a look at her child support case. He told ABC News at the time that he felt obliged to help her and ended up going before a judge on her behalf.

"When I insisted that the woman's charges be dismissed, he started talking about, I'm not an attorney so-and-so," Brown explained. "I said, 'You know it's wrong. ... You're better than this.'"

Brown was found in contempt when he reportedly became verbally abusive to court workers and ignored Juvenile Court Magistrate Harold Horne's warning to calm down, according to local news reports.

Here's his mugshot:



His own gif sums it up.

Jerry seinfeld gets the cops called on him for starting a lemonade stand.
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The one time Jerry Seinfeld tries to help someone, the cops get called.

In an attempt to raise some fun money for his wife's Baby Buggy family charity, Seinfeld, his son Julian and two of the youngster's friends set up an impromptu lemonade stand in East Hampton last week.

Not everyone in the Hamptons appreciated the philanthropic gesture according to the Huffington Post.

East Hampton Village Police received a complaint on Aug. 18 about illegally parked cars at the stand, The East Hampton Press reported. An officer arrived on the scene and told the comedian that lemonade stands were not permitted on village property, and that he'd have to shut it down. "No Lemonade For You," the newspaper's headline read, referencing the Soup Nazi' character's "No soup for you!" cry on Seinfeld's hugely popular sitcom.



Luckily, Seinfeld and his temporary employees were able to have a little fun with it and posted their reaction to the call on Instagram.



That's a shame.

Sacramento parents got pretty nervous about this suspicious van.
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For some reason, parents in suburban Sacramento got suspicious when they started seeing this van around town.

The white van, with "Free Candy" hastily painted across it and foreboding hand prints dragged across the windowless back end, brought in many calls and cell phone pictures to local news channels.

And it was CBS Sacramento that finally cracked the case:

Lawrence Bellow, 12, snapped a photo on his cellphone of the suspicious van parked outside his home.

"It looked too fake to be true, but I didn't want to get a closer look for sure," he said. "I was kind of nervous about it; I didn't know what was going on so I just wanted to get evidence in case anything happened."

He had a gut feeling the white van with blacked out windows and no license plate could be trouble.

His mother first noticed it at Walmart yesterday, then came home to find it parked on her street.

"It had handprints in red and it almost looked likeβ€”I think it was supposed to look like blood honestly; it just looked like the handprints were dripping down," she said. "It just felt like they were trying to track kids and it just gave me a creepy feeling."

Other concerned neighbors snapped photos of the van driving around; one shows it alongside a school bus.



They made some calls and found out the truth β€” the van was headed to Burning Man.

Luckily, children knew never to trust damn hippies.

After many false starts, the Internet gets the safe story it needs.
Via: sarm
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The Internet has a varied relationship with stories about safes.

Two years ago, one Reddit post blew the lid off a secret fascination and the web has been a wash with 'what's in this box?' speculation. That post alone spawned a healthy subreddit that has almost 90,000 subscribers.

But unfortunately, most of them have led to disappointing reveals.

That is until sarm posted a series of pictures to Imgur about the safe they found while renovating their Phoenix home...



[W]e moved into our fixer-upper home two years ago and we're finally getting around to the kitchen renovation. ...During the demolition, we found this safe in the floor – the safe revealed itself when we tore down the kitchen island.

To my knowledge, our home has had 6 previous owners – A hunch the safe didn't belong to the last owners who seemed to like cats and smoking.



Apparently, when they moved in, they found a code to a safe in the back of a medicine cabinet, but never found a safe on which to use it. Very wisely, they saved the combination and the opportunity presented itself. That's crazy in itself.

But look at what they found:



It turned out to be $51,080, 50-year-old James E. Pepper bourbon and a very, very mysterious book.



The book is an even deeper rabbit hole, full of mysterious clues, postcard riddles and a bingo card with a possible combination on it.

A Guide for the Perplexed by E.F. Schumacher. Published in 1977.

Page 1 – A photo of a really sexy Gregory Peck looking dude.

I'm not a treasure hunter but pages 1, 7, 11, and 14 contain, what appear to be, a series of clues.

...On the back of the photo is a note which reads,

Alan,
I have a book you must read. I've underlined a few key passages.
Your friend,
Vincent









"There yielded such fruitful results..."





They said they didn't have a complete plan for the whole of the bounty yet.

We haven't decided what we're going to do with the money yet. If Alan is still out there, it was meant for him after all.

But we're keeping the bourbon!



You can see the whole crazy gallery here.

Family wants Yellowstone to train its bears.
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For most outdoor explorers the chance of seeing a bear in the wilderness is something that is prepared for with caution in hopes of as little and as safe an interaction with the huge, walking dangerfuzz-bags as possible in their natural habitat.

Well these Yellowstone visitors had other expectations.

As posted on Reddit Aug. 27, some guests left this feedback for the staff at lodging in Yellowstone.



Well, it looks like someone needs to bone up on their bear-related injuries and fatalities as documented by the National Parks Service.

Or at least, someone needs to tell them about the poor hiker that died this month from a bear attack at Yellowstone.

Or just put a bear in their yard and let 'em see what happens.

Get 'em, bear.

PETA makes its own cecil killing dentist halloween costume.
Via: PETA
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Who knew PETA wanted to get into the Halloween costuming game?

By this time, you've all most likely heard of Cecil the lion and the American dentist who illegally killed him.

And also, you've maybe heard about the preeeeetty tasteless costume thrown together by costumeish.com so that Halloween revelers can celebrate in style. It looks like this:



The page says it includes "severed lion's head, smock with fake blood splatters, gloves with fake blood splatters, dentist tools in front pocket".

Hilariously, after a big outcry and even bigger petition, the page also says this:

Due to public outlash and petition launched by Doreen Harley and the almost 40,000 signatures along with the opinion of our company we will be donating 100% of the profit from our Lion Killer Costume to a Wildlife Foundation. Our intentions are not to make profit off the beloved Lion. However please remember, if our costume caused an immediate reaction such as disgust or anger to you just imagine how Cecil felt.



But that wasn't enough for PETA, because nothing's ever enough for PETA. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals put their best, most vegan minds to the job and created a Halloween costume of their own called "Cecil's Revenge Halloween Costume".

Here's a picture of it again.



The product page describes it as such:

Halloween aficionados can turn the table on trophy hunters' ghoulish pastime with this cheeky new limited-edition costume. "Cecil's Revenge" features a dentist's uniform with a "Dr. Palmer" name tag, complete with a plush lion grabbing the dental coat from behind, leaving bloody claw marks. Accessorize with a drill, a toothbrush, or a toy crossbow.



Oh, and it also costs $140.

So just know that come Halloween, you have many options available to you

It's very surprising no one has put together a sexy Cecil the lion costume.

Buzz Aldrin forms a master plan to colonize mars by 2039
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Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon, has not been quiet about his desire to colonize Mars.

He has talked about it every chance he gets and pretty much only wears the one t-shirt.



Well, he has taken up with the Florida Institute of Technology to make colonization a reality. He signed off with the school on a 'master plan' Aug. 27, which he and the institute hope will provide a clear pathway for the country to get their asses to the red planet sometime in the next few decades.

According to The Guardian:

The 85-year-old Aldrin, who followed Neil Armstrong onto the moon's surface on 20 July 1969, will serve as a research professor of aeronautics as well as a senior faculty adviser for the institute.

He said he hopes his "master plan" is accepted by NASA and the country, with international input. NASA already is working on the spacecraft and rockets to get astronauts to Mars by the mid-2030s.

Aldrin is pushing for a Mars settlement by approximately 2040. More specifically, he's shooting for 2039, the 70th anniversary of his own Apollo 11 moon landing, although he admits the schedule is "adjustable".

One thing's for sure, he's definitely done with that crummy old moon.

Business owner takes
Via: KOIN
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You gotta hand it to them, people in Portland sure are industrious.

On the one hand, you've got this guy whose goal it is to poop in public areas. He comes prepared and he gets the job done.

On the other hand, you've got a business owner who can't take it anymore. So he sets up a hidden camera to tape the pooper pooping, then creates flyers of the fecal fugitive's face and posts them all over town.

Local station KOIN has been tireless in their efforts to see justice served.

Many Southeast Portland residents want to know the circumstances behind the man who has been captured doing his business outside a building near SE 58th and Powell.

"I find it interesting that he has toilet paper with him, it's very pre-planned," Catrina Salazar, who works nearby at Phix Hair Studio, told KOIN 6 News. "You just don't really know what to expect around here. People, they like do their own thing, they kind of march to the beat of their own drum."

The business owner said the latest incident happened over the weekend. Since it wasn't the first offense, he decided to deem the suspect the 'Portland Pooper'.



The police are on the case and this BM fiend could face "offensive littering" charges.

But you know, he's already had pictures of his face circulated while taking a crap, so the punishment has already begun.

Ashley Madison was a a scam full of dudes and no women.
Via: Gizmodo
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Like an onion, this whole Ashley Madison thing gets stinkier as you peel back the layers.

After the data breach, the ruining of several lesser celebrities and some unfortunate losses of life some new research has come to life that makes the whole thing even more of a sh*t show.

After much speculation going around, it was the diligent research efforts of Gizmodo that actually analyzed all that data to determine how many, if any, women were actively using the site.

This isn't a debauched wonderland of men cheating on their wives. It isn't even a sadscape of 31 million men competing to attract those 5.5 million women in the database. Instead, it's like a science fictional future where every woman on Earth is dead, and some Dilbert-like engineer has replaced them with badly-designed robots.

Those millions of Ashley Madison men were paying to hook up with women who appeared to have created profiles and then simply disappeared. Were they cobbled together by bots and bored admins, or just user debris? Whatever the answer, the more I examined those 5.5 million female profiles, the more obvious it became that none of them had ever talked to men on the site, or even used the site at all after creating a profile.



Basically, the engineers kept the profiles of the inactive women front and center to give the site more of a party vibe, then would bot responses to the millions of salivating doinks, before those ravenous louts realized the site was trash and took advantage of the elite feature and paid Ashley Madison to delete all their information. Which never happened.

There were tons of bots created and other hijinks, but Gizmodo found the most important detail to be in how many accounts checked their messages.

Then, three data fields changed everything. The first field, called mail_last_time, contained a timestamp indicating the last time a member checked the messages in their Ashley Madison inbox. If a person never checked their inbox, the field was blank. But even if they'd checked their messages only once, the field contained a date and time. About two-thirds of the men, or 20.2 million of them, had checked the messages in their accounts at least once. But only 1,492 women had ever checked their messages. It was a serious anomaly.







Gizmodo did a fantastic job on the research and the whole, long story is well worth reading.

But even if not, this information is a rotten cherry on the putrid sundae of infidelity.

RuPaws Drag Race Instagram shows a kitty dressing in the drag queen style.
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Sometimes all it takes to be great is a fantastic idea and a cooperative cat.

Those are the two things definitely on display over at the RuPaw's Drag Race Instagram feed.

The concept is simple β€” recreate notable outfits from RuPaul's Drag Race on a cat.

The execution is spectacular.











Even Ru herself receives the honor.



The feed itself doesn't give a clue as to what that sweet kitty's name is or who is behind this wonderful thing. It doesn't really matter, because the pictures speak for themselves.

Today is a beautiful day.

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