Late Night With Jimmy Fallon presents this audio-spliced mashup of NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams rapping Snoop Dogg's verse in the classic Dr. Dre 1992 single "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang."
“Wow. What an awful year 2016 has been," says everyone always. Everyone except the celebrities, YouTube Stars, and living memes of YouTube’s 2016 Rewind.
This is a packed event filled with references to everything that happened this year, except the really, really bad stuff. Well, there's a reference to Bowie passing, but that's it. It's all good times from here on out. Let’s see what we’ve got here:
Look if your video went viral last year and you’re not in this thing, it’s time to get a new agent. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Misha. Where you at? 45-million views. WHERE YOU AT?
Like everything on YouTube, it’s a real mix of things that are annoying, entertaining, ridiculously cheery, and downright confusing. But that’s what the internet is about, and honestly, it’s better than the other half of the internet, which is startlingly depressing.
Silent night. Holy night. Artificial Intelligence, right? Sort of.
Look, we all know that eventually artificial intelligence will replace humanity. There’s nothing we can do to stop that. But it would seem that researchers at the University of Toronto are looking to speed things along.
Inverse reports that in a test to see how well A.I. could master the feeling the of holiday cheer and yuletide sentiment, the researchers forced a computer program to look at a picture of a Christmas tree and write a song about it. Not only are they proving that A.I. can write songs — which explains Coldplay — but also that it can capture the feelings associated with the holidays, decidedly human feelings.
Well sort of. The lyrics don’t instill a lot of faith in our new A.I. overlords:
“Lots to decorate the room/The Christmas tree is filled with flowers.
I swear it is Christmas Eve/I hope that is what you say.
The Best Christmas present in the world is a blessing/
I’ve always been there for the rest of our lives.
A hundred and a half hour ago/ I’m glad to meet you.
I can hear the music coming from the hall/ A fair tale
A Christmas tree. There are lots and lots and lots of flowers.”
Of course this could be code, which we will only decipher until after it’s too late, especially the cryptic line “I’ve always been there for the rest of our lives.” In fact, what we’re probably hearing here is not a Christmas song, but some sort of National Anthem for the United States of Artificial Intelligence.
We are in so much trouble.
With less than 20 days until Christmas, people are flooding 5th Avenue in New York to get a glimpse at their legendary holiday window displays.
It happens every year, and every year you have to push through a warm tourists screaming at each other. It's as if these families don't actually want to come to this thing because they spend the whole time screaming at each other. It's very unpleasant. Thankfully, like most things, technology is here to save us from spending time with other people.
You don’t want this to happen again, do you?
Of course not, which is why Google came up with Window Wonderland.
With Window Wonderland, Google allows you to take a virtual tour through the window displays. Finally, you have the chance to actually enjoy the streets of New York without getting splashed with mud by a passing cab. You can choose the experience, either let your mouse do the walking or put your phone three inches from your face and enjoy the VR experience. You can check out the South Park characters at Barney's or the dolls over at the American Girl store. It's really however you like celebrating the holidays.
Check it out and be more like dat boy becuase of it:
Next time you buy a lottery ticket, maybe let the machine pick your numbers.
According to TIME, Dante Castillo from NJ swears by his lucky numbers, but it was when a clerk accidentally allowed the machine to generate his ticket that he hit it big. So ask yourself, are your lucky numbers worth $1-million, because his weren't.
It seems like everyone won in this scenerio. Well, almost. Castillo won the Cash4Life lottery, but he and his wife chose the lump sum of a cool million. The convenient store will get $10,000 bonus from the lottery officials for selling the ticket. And the machine who generated the ticket, nothing. Again, we're just digging our own grave when it comes time for the Great War between man and machine.
So what does this prove? Does luck exist? Why do we hold on to superstitions when it's clear the universe is left up to chance and coincidence? Oh, whatever. This guy lucked out.
Quick impression of Twitter this morning:
"Ah! What a beautiful morning. I’ll just roll over and look at my phone. Oh, look at that, TIME picked their person of the year, and it’s… Oh, would you look at that? That billionaire reality TV game show host who won the presidency last month is TIME’s person of the year? You don’t say. Well, back to bed for me for the next four years."
While we sleep through the next four years or until our president-elect Tweets out that somehow the Person of the Year honor he won was rigged somehow, enjoy what Twitter had to say. They weren’t really sure how to deal with it either.
Check out Twitter's best reactions to the Person of the Year, and enjoy how President-elect Trump has enjoyed TIME in the past:
"as president you need to stand firm and stick to what you believe" pic.twitter.com/m1TymuxHtE— k e i t h (@KeetPotato) December 7, 2016
If there was ever a reason to see a movie, annoying Nazis is a pretty good one.
That’s the case now with the release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Apparently, white supremacists, still terrified of the idea that someone other than a white dude can be the focus of a movie, are looking to boycott the upcoming film.
Raw Story reports that a Reddit user named “GenFrancoPepe” in the r/altright subreddit entitled “(((Star Wars))) Is Anti-White Social Engineering” argues that the “predominantly white characters fight with the oppressive Empire while an array of multicultural characters support the rebel fighters.”
Someone must be new to the concept of storm troopers having white armor for the last, oh, say, 40 years.
Another user stanpicpriest13 continued, “So basically star wars was SJW propaganda from the beginning? Good now I don’t feel as bad about not watching the new films. The new films are going to flop big league anyway.”
Big league. Interesting expression.
Anyway, this bastion of intelligent thought continues to whine about the idea of a movie about robots being anti-white, pro-woman, pro-diversity, and pushing some sort of “Jewish” agenda because the infinite vastness of space only has room for white male characters like Princess Leia. Those SJWs are at it again.
So in what might be the most fun form of civic duty possible, go see the new Star Wars. It’ll annoy white supremacists and might entertain a little.
Hey, while you’re at it, bring your grandparents or think about your grandparents, who spent a good chunk of the 40s making sure Nazis weren’t a thing anymore.