Via: The Week
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The Week's editor James Harbeck, who happens to be a linguist as well, provides phonetic descriptions of seven annoying sounds that teenagers make.

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Fisher-Price Rolls Out a New Line of Complexes with Exercise Bike for Kids

Parents are concerned about how active their kids are. But rather than, you know, taking their kids outside, they’re relying on Fisher-Price to get their kids moving without actually going anywhere.

At CES, Fisher-Price introduced a new stationary exercise bike for kids to ride and that parents can just plop an iPad in front of and forget about. Finally, a way for your kid to play video games and feel the burn.

via Maroon 5

According to CNN, “The system is Bluetooth-enabled so the bike could work with the apps played on platforms such as Apple TV and Android TV. App dashboards tell parents how much time their child has spent peddling and what he or she has learned in that duration.”

So now not only does your kid get hours of guilt-free screen time, but also they can enjoy all the healthy obsessing over exercise that their parents do. A toy that brings the whole family together.

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This 105-Year-Old Man Just Set a New Cycling World Record, So Maybe You Could Go Outside Once Today

Age ain’t nothing but an excuse.

This 105-year-old man just set a new cycling world record. 105. Years. Old. Our target demo is, like, 14 to 30, which means you have no excuse for spending so much time with those dang video games. X-Box One. More like X-Box None until you set a world record.

via Burger Records

The Associated Press reports that Robert Marchand, who had once been told by a coach to give up because he was never going to achieve anything on that bike, “set a world record in the 105-plus age category — created especially for the tireless veteran — by riding 22.547 kilometers (14.010 miles) in one hour.”

Marchand isn’t just a world record holder, he’s spent time during his 105 years working as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a lumberjack, and only took up biking at 68. Man, we’re all so pathetic compared to this dude.

The Huffington Post says that “the cyclist can attribute his athleticism to eating fruits and vegetables, not smoking, drinking wine in moderation, exercising daily and going to bed at 9 p.m.”

Better get to work.

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Bernie Sanders Brought a Big Sign to the Senate and a New Meme to Twitter

It’s been shown time and time again that if you show the internet a big, white sign, they’re going to do whatever they want with it.

Need I remind you of this stupid thing:

via Uproxx

I didn’t think so. Well, someone should’ve reminded Senator Bernie Sanders, the guy who all your most annoying friends insist “would’ve won." Yes, Sen. Sanders printed out one of President-elect Donald Trump’s tweets to make the point that the reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year might not be telling the truth.

Naturally, people loved the idea of Bernie holding up a big white sign because it’s really easy to Photoshop. Check out some of the best new Bernie signs:

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Via: LastWeekTonight
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Last year, John Oliver bought $14.9 million dollars of medical debt for $60,000 on a Last Week Tonight segment. And now the man who was relieved of that debt is speaking out.

On Reddit, user EricHill posted a letter from Last Week Tonight explaining that his debt had been cleared. 



via Reddit

According to Mashable


“Not only had the comedian paid the debt, he also alleviated Eric of having to pay any taxes on his "cancellation of debt" income. That's because the series paid for Eric's debt through "RIP Medical Debt," as a 501(c)(3) charity. Eric's debt was paid off, no strings attached.

“The show cautioned that this was for this medical debt only and not future medical debts.”

So while everyone might not care about John Oliver, John Oliver certainly cares about something.

Via: Jenkem
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Lots of us played Tony Hawk: Pro Skater and expected to leave the house doing kickflip to tailslide to bluntslide to that Chad Muska beats-slide where he pulls out a boombox. But very few of us could.

Still there are skateboarders who can trump the impossible things we’ve seen in video games. One of them is Dan Mancina, a skateboarder who is legally blind.

Mancina, who’s vision started to fade at 13, only has a slight amount of peripheral vision and a cane, but he’s still able to pull off some things most could only dream of — namely skating with a smooth controlled style. That’s the real money.

But according to Spolid, that’s not all that Mancina can do. In the video compilation “Dan Mancina Does Stuff Blind,” he chops wood, throws a bullseye, and fires a machine gun. Let this be an inspiration to all of us.




via Jenkem

Check out a full interview with Mancia over at Jenkem.

mcdonalds opens new restaraunt in vatican city
Via: Huffington Post
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Blessed be he, the Grimace.

That’s right. Grimace, Fry Guy, and Ronald McDonald are opening up shop right next to the Pope in downtown Vatican City, catering to the some six-millions tourists that pass through those hollowed grounds every year.

Not everyone’s looking to give the Hamburglar forgiveness, though. Only God may judge the Hamburglar.

via Geek

According to Vice, the new McDonald’s is "at the corner Borgo Pio and Via del Mascherino, a mere block and a half—about 100 yards—from the famous St Peter’s Square. While neighbors already displeased by vendors hawking knickknacks in the area have complained that the McDonald’s would be a 'decisive blow on an already wounded animal,' at least one Cardinal is also saying leasing Vatican real estate to Ronald McDonald isn’t in keeping with the Church’s mission.”

Vice recieved an official response from McDonald’s, which stated they are occupying “a popular tourist area outside the Vatican that already has many other restaurants, bars, and retail shops… As is the case whenever McDonald’s operates near historic sites anywhere in Italy, this restaurant has been fully adapted with respect to the historical environment.”

McDonald’s isn’t the only chain that’s coming to the Vatican. Hard Rock Cafe is coming to Via della Conciliazione, answering the prayers of millions who want yet another Hard Rock Cafe, apparently.

Enjoy the Vatican, tourists, it’s yours now!


via YouTube

Via: whitebearautos
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Sometimes, a video comes along that perfectly encapsulates the culture. At one point, it was “Charlie Bit My Finger.” Then came “The Sneezing Baby Panda” and, of course, “Drummer at the Wrong Gig.” 

Now, in 2017, is the time of the “White Bear Mitsubishi’s Gopher Hockey Outtakes — White Bear on Ice.”

This video delivers. You want to see a bear mascot slipping on ice over and over? Well, you got it. The description asks “How many takes to have a White Bear not slip on the ice during a commercial shoot?” But the real question is how many times can we ask. The answer: As many as it takes.

Enjoy this video, bookmark this video, and watch it whenever you’re feeling a little blue.

This is your failsafe.

H/T Gothamist