FAIL

#hoverboard #knockout #MikeTysonBreaksBack #imtoooldforthisshit #cyboard

Posted by Mike Tyson on Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Via: Mike Tyson
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At least Mike's got a sense of humor about it.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to add a hoverboard to his classic boxing game.

Update: Thank you Internet.

Via: CNN
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You'll remember Ethan Couch was convicted of four counts of intoxication manslaughter, but was not sentenced to any jail time. Instead, he was given 10 years' probation. Couch's defense team, which included psychologist Dr. G. Dick Miller, argued that the teen suffered from "affluenza," meaning his irresponsible behavior and lifestyle were a product of his affluent upbringing and "profoundly dysfunctional" parents.

Part of his parole mandates that he regularly checks in with his parole officer and that he not drink alcohol for 10 years. The latter is being investigated now thanks to a snapchat of Ethan playing beer pong at a house party in Texas.





Couch and his mother were picked up in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on Monday, reports a spokesman for the Jalisco state prosecutor's office. After both underwent a medical checkup, they were transferred to immigration authorities and will be returning to the U.S. "shortly."



news-fail-condom-robbery-explosion
Via: ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

Via: VICE
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This bold day tripper shoves two tabs of acid down his throat before showing up to cover a Monster Truck rally for VICE's 'On Acid' series. Suffice to say, Dr. Gonzo would've approved. After all, 'when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.'

Also, how terrifying are those snow-cone mugs? In what universe would someone want to drink some rainbow slush out one of those?

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Remember in class when you were called on to read an excerpt from a book, and the ensuing catastrophe that was trying to remember to breathe between sentences?

Let Poppy Harlow be a lesson to us all. This is what happens when you forget to breathe for a hot minute.

On Monday morning CNN's Poppy Harlow PTFO. Midway through a live broadcast we can hear the anchorwoman hit an imaginative wall. Shortly after Harlow came back on the air to reassure viewers that she had, 'gotten a little hot and passed out for a moment.'

nfl-news-patriots-overtime-kickoff-fail-loss
Via: Uproxx
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The New England Patriots played all day as if they were wearing ankle weights against the New York Jets, but still managed to push the game past regulation into overtime with a late and shining moment of clutch city from Tom Brady. Let's just say things went downhill fast soon as OT started.

In an act of madness the Patriots chose to kickoff, after winning the coin flip for overtime.

Whoops?

Unsurprisingly it took the Jets a mere five plays to drive down the field for a six-yard TD pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick to Eric Decker for the win.

christmas news little girl touches elf on a shelf and fears she ruined christmas so she calls 911
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When Isabelle LaPeruta, a 7-year-old New Jersey girl, accidentally touched her Elf on the Shelf she thought she did something that would get her in trouble with Santa. According to the popular children's book, touching the Elf on a Shelf is a big time no-no and doing so means the Christmas magic goes away from your home.

Panicked that she just ruined Christmas, Isabelle did what she was told to do in an emergency, call 911.



"To her, it was an emergency when she touched the elf, and she's going to ruin Christmas, so that was her emergency. In her mind, she did right, and it was fine with us." said Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola. Looks like the Christmas magic is back for one 7-year-old little girl.



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