FAIL

news-nba-joey-crawford-retires-missed
Via: Uproxx
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Amidst all the haters, there's no doubt that Joey Crawford will be missed for his impressive procession of awkward trips, falls, and barrel rolls as he wipes the gym floor with his gleaming bald dome of a head.

At least Crawford who was infamous for making the gutsy, more controversial calls left it all out on the court.

news-fail-mother-spends-powerball-money-millions
Via: Daily Mail
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This latest bailout brings the total sum of funds Marie Holmes has dished out for her drug-trafficking boyfriend Lamarr McDow, to a whopping $21 million.

She's a multi-million dollar enabler who got lucky with the lottery, won a grand lump-sump payment of $181 million, and has since spent her winnings in the seemingly most irrational and symptomatically insane way possible. See McDow below.

Holmes has bailed her depraved and ungrateful boyfriend out from behind bars three times since March 2015. Someone close to this lady needs to talk some sense into her, and quick.

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Stanford ran train over Michigan State on Saturday, bringing home an impressive 45-16 Rose Bowl victory.

Christian McCaffery put on a heroic performance as the game's star running-back, but the poor kid couldn't catch a break from an adrenaline-charged douche who did everything but grab the fu*king microphone and chuck it through the goalpost during McCaffery's interview.

Real-talk bro, GTFO. There's fan, superfan, and whatever the heck that guy in the background was. Don't be that guy.

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It looks like Lemon had a bit too much of the bubbly on NYE. There are two sides forming as this budding controversy takes on a life of it's own.

Was Kathy Griffin's behavior inappropriate from the get-go, and was Lemmon's comment almost a poor guy with vaguely impaired judgment taking the bait?

Or was Lemon someone who clearly had been served enough, and was in no place to be interviewing/broadcasting publicly?

Maybe a bit of both.There's always cause to throw up a big 'so what?' What do you think?

#hoverboard #knockout #MikeTysonBreaksBack #imtoooldforthisshit #cyboard

Posted by Mike Tyson on Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Via: Mike Tyson
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At least Mike's got a sense of humor about it.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to add a hoverboard to his classic boxing game.

Update: Thank you Internet.

Via: CNN
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You'll remember Ethan Couch was convicted of four counts of intoxication manslaughter, but was not sentenced to any jail time. Instead, he was given 10 years' probation. Couch's defense team, which included psychologist Dr. G. Dick Miller, argued that the teen suffered from "affluenza," meaning his irresponsible behavior and lifestyle were a product of his affluent upbringing and "profoundly dysfunctional" parents.

Part of his parole mandates that he regularly checks in with his parole officer and that he not drink alcohol for 10 years. The latter is being investigated now thanks to a snapchat of Ethan playing beer pong at a house party in Texas.





Couch and his mother were picked up in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on Monday, reports a spokesman for the Jalisco state prosecutor's office. After both underwent a medical checkup, they were transferred to immigration authorities and will be returning to the U.S. "shortly."



news-fail-condom-robbery-explosion
Via: ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

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