"Walking on all fours is so 2011!" Today is one those days where this little guy decides to look at the world for what it is: something gone topsy-turvy.
Toowomba, Australia mother of two Kylie Steger says her appetite was ruined when she found a "rude surprise" at the bottom of a burger box from fast food chain Hungry Jack's: a crude drawing of a penis.
The offensive doodle has put Steger off her weekly dinner visits to the restaurant, where she often took the kids after football and netball practice.
"It literally made me sick," she said. "If they have drawn that in there, what else have they done to my burger?"
A Hungry Jack's spokesman says the company has launched an internal investigation to determine the identity of the artist.
Jonah Hill's character from Superbad has not yet been ruled out as a suspect.
The Maximum Performance Project, an effort to ensure proper testing of the flushing capabilities of toilets, isn't secretive about its procedures (unlike some crappy, uncertified toilet testers).
The project's website documents exactly how to simulate the "real demands" on a toilet fixture and test every toilet "to failure" -- which we can only assume is disgusting.
So, how do they do it? Using specially-mixed logs of soybean paste as stand-ins for actual poo, natch.
You might actually have to be Michael Jordan to afford "Indulgences #5," a pair of authentic Nike dunks dipped in 24-karat gold (and apparently a real, actual thing that exists).
The swanky shoes, designed by Kenneth Courtney of aptly-named label "Ju$t Another Rich Kid," are limited to 5 pairs. The price is available upon request.
Some Middle Eastern Pizza Hut locations are now serving "Crown Crust" pizzas with a regal ring of cheeseburgers or chicken tenders cooked right into the crust. It's two great tastes that devastate your digestive system great together!
It looks like the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell was just the first step down a slippery slope toward the eventual fast food singularity.