You hear it every year:
“Turkey makes me sleepy because I’m a wittle baby.”
You’re probably so sick of hearing that, and not just because you invited a giant talking baby to your Thanksgiving again, but also because it’s not necessarily true.
Wired has taken umbrage with the idea that the tryptophan-heavy turkey is what causes the Thanksgiving tiredness. In fact, as they point out in this bite-sized video, it’s the whole meal that makes you tired.
From soup to nuts, or whatever Thanksgiving metaphor that works better for this article, the whole meal delivers a hardy mixture of tryptophan and carbs. Ugh, not them again. Basically you get tired because all the food you eat contains these chemicals and all the carbs in potatoes and stuffing you cram down your gullet on Turkey Day force your body to slow down and digest.
Check it out the video and be the smartest person at the table.
Alec Baldwin decided to step up and reprise his role as Donald Trump on SNL, after Trump once again targeted the show for 'not being funny at all.' Here's a brief exchange we saw between the two on Twitter as well:
Real life hasn’t been that much fun lately, right? With your job, Thanksgiving, and Tax Day (I mean, that thing's always around the corner), wouldn’t be nice to just get away for a while? Check out into a different reality.
Well, science is currently working on that, and our old friend Conan O’Brien got to try it out for himself. Over at the YouTube’s VR Lab in New York City, Conan took virtual reality for a test drive, performing his normal routine of yelling at employees, co-workers, robots, and gym coaches in the new digital world, on Conan last night.
This video should have you very excited for the future, where you can harass robots and eat corn on the cob sandwiches. Watch the video and you’ll get it.
It takes years of training to become a ninja, so don’t go stealing swords on your first day.
At least, “still in training” better be the excuse of this ninja, who broke into a comic book store in Anchorage, Alaska and stole a katana sword on Friday. In a move that would get any warrior removed from their dojo, or at the very least, reprimanded by their sansei, this ninja was caught on camera. It doesn’t even look like they're trying to evade the its lens.
There are just so many things wrong with this scenario. First, like, if you’re dressing up as a ninja, and you’re not going to find any cover, then, jeez, I don’t know, go back to training. Second, what is this ninja doing getting their steel from a comic book store? That thing better have been stolen from this ninja and they are merely retrieving it. Third, bring a smoke bomb, dude.
What is this world coming to? A ninja should be as elusive as a shadow, and this one came in like bull in a china shop. Nothing else was stolen, but if the ninja’s in Anchorage are this bad, law enforcement really needs to step it up, unless you want your town overrun by low-rent ninjas.
Maybe that security camera was just really fast? No, that’s stupid. Get it together, ninja. Don’t be seen.
If you listen to Steve, that guy who stands at the end of my block holding a sign that reads “The End of Nigh,” then the end is nigh. Steve’s foresight that the world might be coming to an end should launch you into action, perhaps learning some important survival skills on how to survive the apocalypse. Sure, it’s important to know how to skin a deer with a paper clip, but also important, learning how to open a can of food with a spoon because the irony of having 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife is no longer going to scare us.
Or are we?
Luckily for you and Steve, a YouTuber is here to help. Popular Life Hacker Dave Hax, who should rebrand to "Life Hax" immediately and has taught us how to make a chocolate Coca Cola bottle and "magnetic slime," has the solution we've been looking for. In this video, Hax teaches you how to open those pesky Campbell's chunky soup cans with a spoon. Use this information well. When the mysterious race of cloaked mutants has taken the world’s supply of can openers, this video could save your life.
Be ready. Stay alive. Stock spoons.