Really though, how about a round of applause for Simon Lambert & Sons pub in Wexford for this recent innovation.
This sh*t blows homebrew, kombucha, whatever out the water. Apparently we live in a world where our bodies possess the capability to brew booze.
An upstate New York woman blew a blood alcohol level four times the legal limit, but it's chill because she lives with an auto-brewery condition. Also known as gut-fermentation syndrome this rare medical condition occurs when gastrointestinal yeast converts common food carbs into ethanol.
The woman of our unbelievable story met her husband for lunch, where she consumed four drinks between the hours of noon and 6pm. After leaving the restaurant, her car experienced a flat tire, which she continued to drive on until a concerned driver phoned the police. It was then that an officer discovered her blood alcohol level was near 0.40. Because a 0.4 is an extreme and immediate threat to one's life, officers immediately took the woman to the hospital where she discovered, for the first time, that she suffers from gut-fermentation syndrome.
We're pretty sure this guy shows all indications of auto-brewery condition.
81 year old Elvira Montes didn't just complete the annual Flotrack Beer Mile, she dominated it. The grandmother of three completed her beer mile, which requires runners to chug a 12 oz beer every quarter mile, in 20 minutes and 23 seconds, beating her 47 year old daughter by 50 seconds.
Montes was happy to finish, but wants to up her chug speed in order to try to beat her time next year: "I should have been a little faster. I tried to drink the first one really fast but I couldn’t. The second one went down really smooth; the third, even better. The fourth was alright."
But the coolest thing about Montes? She doesn't even like beer. This badass grandma prefers scotch. Cheers to you Elvira Montes, and congrats on a great finish time. I know I couldn't beat it.
We can't make this up.
Nineteen-year-old Bud Weisser was cited for trespassing and resisting arrest in Missouri after he was found in a restricted area of the Budweiser brewery Thursday, according to Daily Mail.
Weisser apparently crashed his car in the parking lot and hopped a fence to enter the brewery. Police were called to the scene after he refused to leave the area.
Here's another look at Mr. Weisser.
Seems to be an upstanding young gentleman.
Remember when we told you about Russia running over foreign cheese with steamrollers? Well, patriots are taking that same level of nutritional nationalism to the supermarkets.
One patriot in particular, musician Stas Barestky, joined some Cossacks in a media stunt and entered a supermarket in St. Petersburg to destroy foreign made food.
Barestky knows how to destroy stuff.
The video is a little long, so here is one of the key action scenes.
Barestky's music is hard to locate because we don't read Russian too well, but here's a song put to edits of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, for some reason.
The music and the video that goes along with it might elude us culturally, but if there's one thing we can all agree on loving, it's biting things in half.
Roosh V, creepy 'pick-up artist' and author of far too many books with the word 'Bang' in the title, did not meet many fans of his work over the weekend in Montreal.
He traveled to the Canadian city to hold a seminar on how guys can best try and trick girls to sleep with them. Only, the venue shut it down when they learned what the seminar entailed.
Then, it says in the MtlBlog story:
Here's where it gets good. Roosh decided to go out to a bar after his event, and that's when he had a beer pitched in his face. Then another and then yet another. The wonderful people at the bar then chased him out, yelling at him to "get the f*ck out of Montreal" but that's not where things ended. The patrons followed Roosh all the way back to where he was staying just to make sure he knew he wasn't wanted here.
After that, he had little hope of peace as Mtblog states that one of the girls who threw a drink on him posted this (although the website doesn't say where it was posted):
Karma came calling.
You know you get thirsty from all that yoga you do, so why not rehydrate with a nice frosty beer?
That's what the über yoga clothing store Lululemon wants you to do anyway.
According to the apparel giant's Instagram account, the beer will come to the Seawheeze Half Marathon, which is apparently something that happens in Vancouver.
They're calling it the 'Curiosity Lager' and, according to the New York Daily News want it to be seen as a craft beer.
Canadian yoga retailer Lululemon has teamed up with Vancouver's Stanley Park Brewing to launch a limited-edition craft beer called Curiosity Lager, made with chinook and lemon drop hops for a "crisp, cold beer."
The limited edition beer — only 88,000 cans will be produced — will be served at the 2015 SeaWheeze Sunset Festival and Half Marathon in August in Vancouver and line liquor store shelves across Canada later this month.
Drunk yoga is something most of us are familiar with.
We may refer to it as something different.
But Lululemon probably just wants to standardize the whole thing.
This whole thing seems just like something to get dudes more interested in yoga, like when they unveiled their "Anti Ball-Crushing" Pants, which "gives you and the family jewels room to breathe."
Luckily for you, there's cheap, probably better, beer all around us!