This little guy wins the Internet today.
Avast! At participating Krispy Kreme locations, you can receive an entire free dozen donuts on this Wednesday's Talk Like A Pirate Day -- if you dress up in full swashbuckling regalia.
So, dress like a pirate on September 19 = A DOZEN FREE DONUTS. Simple enough.
No costume? No sweat. Just talking like a pirate gets you one free donut, but donning duds really sweetens the plunder.