This 7'4' troll is looking for a new roommate in the D.C. area and he's hoping that it will be you. Like all trolls, this fiscally responsible guy really cares about making sure rent is covered and other bills are paid (he especially cares about tolls). But don't let this payment punctuality overshadow his wild side. This kickball-loving, happy hour hopping wild wonder likes to have a good time.
I am 328 lbs, 7 feet tall (7' 4" if you count horn height), yellow/greenish eyes and a heart-warming smile. Happy hour? Free networking event? Kickball?... I'm there. I love being fiscally responsible and making sure all debts are paid, tolls collected, and budgets balanced.
Space is no issue! I am great in tight spaces so am happy to claim an unused den or living room corner. I am also quite prepared to sleep under your bed or chill out in the closet. NOTE: I suffer from frequent, violent night terrors brought on by fiscal stress. So let's keep our budget in check when we're bunking up, OK? We will need to convene weekly budget meetings to discuss utility bills -- keeping costs down keeps spirits up!
What is our toll rate for pedestrians walking by outside? Is it strictly enforced or a catch-and-release program? Do you have a dedicated sheep/goat herder, or do you just hire freelancers?
Parents facing the stress of attempting to fulfill unrealistic gift requests can breath a little easier after these two majestic beauties went up for sale on Craigslist. For the child who as everything, you'll be able to provide you kid with double the magic this holiday season with this pair of beautiful unicorns. Here is an excerpt from the ad that was placed:
2 Unicorns for Sale - $930000 (Hartford)
We are selling 2 purebred unicorns. Male is 3 years old named Pagasus. Female is 5 years old and named Daisy. Price of $930,000 USD is per unicorn. Unicorns are hand fed from birth, and require just as much attention if you do decide to welcome a unicorn into your home. We are the only fully licensed unicorn breeder in North America, and are NUBAA certified. Call now to be put on the waiting list, on which wait times start at 9 months out.
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE
For those on a tighter budget, they also have unicorn eggs for sale.