crime

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Sit down Neil McCabe.

"It's just part of life, I think," proposes McCabe at one point, when he's confronted with the unavoidable fact that more than 130 people have already died from gun violence in the U.S. this year.

This is where Snow channels his inner GoT Jon Snow, and goes off in the most effective, yet vaguely stoic way possible.

"No, it's part of death, Mr. McCabe," responds Snow. "That's death. That's dead people, people who have died as a result of guns."

Stand up. Now leave Neil McCabe.

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The suspect handed the Blake Medical Center employee a bag of food he said was for a patient. The employee then checked the food inside the bag, and discovered a syringe hidden inside the burrito.

In light of recent news, what's actually unhealthier though? This drug dealer's heroin-infused culinary twist on the traditional burrito? Or whatever slid out Chipotle's kitchen last summer amidst the Norovirus outbreak scandal?

What are the odds Jesse Pinkman had the car running? Walter White is not pleased with all this heat.

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Via: Uproxx
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Mike Rowe needs you to hear him loud, and hear him clear, when he tells you he's not robbing banks.

The former 'Dirty Jobs' Host and 'Deadliest Catch' narrator's under a great deal of scrutiny after an image of what appears as Mike Rowe from a frickin parallel universe, holding up a bank, surfaced. The resemblance is uncanny, in every sense of the word.

The rumors went viral after various folks across Facebook joked that this was a maddened, wild ploy by Rowe to kickstart a new season of 'Dirty Jobs.'

Rowe was quick to the punch and fought to quell the fast uprising of these rumors by releasing an alibi on his Facebook page: "For what it's worth, I was in Kansas Monday, and can prove it, if need be."

Rowe went on to bury himself in a bit of a hole by offering up something of an outlandish theory, "what if the thief was not an idiot, but a clever person of below average height wearing a Mike Rowe Mask?"

Alright. Will the real Mike Rowe please stand up?

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Via: Daily Mail
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This latest bailout brings the total sum of funds Marie Holmes has dished out for her drug-trafficking boyfriend Lamarr McDow, to a whopping $21 million.

She's a multi-million dollar enabler who got lucky with the lottery, won a grand lump-sump payment of $181 million, and has since spent her winnings in the seemingly most irrational and symptomatically insane way possible. See McDow below.

Holmes has bailed her depraved and ungrateful boyfriend out from behind bars three times since March 2015. Someone close to this lady needs to talk some sense into her, and quick.

Via: Uproxx
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Bright and early Thursday morning, Couch's mother, Tonya Couch, returned--not by choice, mind you--to Los Angeles in a malestrom of controversy, where she was then arrested for allegedly helping her son flee the country.

The media however picked up and ran with a different, but beautifully ridiculous tidbit: Tonya's a stone cold knockout doppelganger for 'Carrot Top.'

Like, wait, what now?

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Via: ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

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Via: CBS Miami
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Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

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