Last night Last Week Tonight, John Oliver devoted his show to looking back at what enabled Trump’s victory, such as the media, social media, and the spread of fiction posing as fact, and what we should do next.
All half hour of the Last Week Tonight's season finale is now available on YouTube. Come for his election coverage, stay for his tribute to this terrible, terrible year.
It’s been a long night for the United States, and at the end of it, we had a new president. Stephen Colbert had a long night as well. Wrapping up his Election Special for Showtime, Colbert was learning election results in real time, guiding his audience through this transition and delivering some solace.
Colbert has long been one of the most biting satirists of the Republican party, but in these final ten minutes of his show, he offered some words of wisdom that we could all rally behind. He sends out a call for unity that the country needs in these divisive times, reminding us that maybe we all “drank a little too much of the poison” that is politics. Then he took a great big sip whiskey and relayed the things that bring us together, like hating veggie pizza and our love for whoever gets up for seconds first at a wedding buffet.
“In the face of something that might strike you as horrible, I think laughter is the best medicine,” said Colbert. “You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time, and the devil cannot stand mockery."
It’s a somber speech, but one that's worth watching.
If you live in the United States, you have a new president. The people have spoken, and they said that billionaire, reality TV-show host Donald Trump is how they want to ride out the next four years.
Look, this was a divisive election, and a very close one at that. As has been said many times, this wasn’t necessarily the time for a protest vote for, say, Jill Stein or Gary Johnson, but that doesn’t mean the Internet can’t find another third-party spoiler to bring America to its logical conclusion and elect a billionaire, reality TV-show host.
The Internet, because its nothing if not predictable, chose a new candidate: Dead-gorilla turned confusing-meme, Harambe.That’s right, the gorilla who was shot dead after a child fell into his pen at the zoo received 11,000 votes in last night’s election. And that’s how game-show hosts are elected president, when people write in memes to be president.
So there you have it, folks. Reality TV-show host is president, and I am now this Tweet:
Among the various forms of voter suppression, this has to be one of the strangest. Matt Novak, a writer for the tech blog Gizmodo, has tweeted a picture about a special rule his polling place has: Vote here and agree to be filmed for “Booty Queens.”
Novak has followed up by stating that whatever "Booty Queens" is or whoever the titular Booty Queens are, it’s all perfectly legal, which is a relief. We don’t want the Booty Queens to be removed form power. He went on to write in a short post for Gizmodo:
“I spoke with a producer from the show who assured me that the crew has a permit to film there (at La Cienega Park) and that nothing they’re doing is illegal. She said that they weren’t really filming in the direction of the polling place, but instead were filming towards the playground. But it’s easy to see how one might be confused.”
What is “Booty Queens?” One can only assume it’s a reality show about the matriarch of Booty Land. Honestly, I could Google it, but it’s probably not smart to do from a work computer. Frankly, I’m just as happy to take this person’s advice:
But if you voted at this particular Los Angeles polling place, you now might find yourself in “Booty Queens,” which, depending on what that is, might be an added benefit to voting. Who knows? Maybe someone wrote your name on the ballot and you could be America’s next “Booty Queen.”
Donald Trump has said a lot of things this election season, but there’s one thing none of us should stand for: Lying about our professional athletes and supermodels. Professional athletes and supermodels are the backbone of this country. They are who we aspire to be, and who we bow down before, hanging our heads in shame.
This makes Tom Brady’s supposed endorsement of Donald Trump all the more disturbing.
The New York Post reports that Donald Trump said to a rally on Monda that he spoke to Brady and recieved his vote. Trump recounted their conversation:
“Great guy, great friend of mine — great, great champion. Unbelievable winner. He called today and he said, ‘Donald, I support you, you’re my friend, and I voted for you.
And I said, ‘So Tom. You voted for me, you support me, am I allowed to say it tonight at this massive crowd in New Hampshire?’ He said, ‘If you want to say it, you can say it.’”
However, in the hours that passed, word finally got to Tom Brady’s wife, supermodel Gisele Bündchen. On Instagram, a fan put it bluntly, asking “Gisele I heard you and Tom were backing Trump! Is that true??”
And there you have it, folks. This election season has brought out a lot in all of us. We struggle as a nation to bridge great divides between us and find our place in this crazy, mixed-up world. It’s hard enough, but at least we can rely on our supermodels and professional athletes to be there for us, speak for themselves, and never get lost in the fray.
I suppose we have no one to blame but ourselves. After all, as soon as he popped his mustachioed face onto our TV screens during the second presidential debate, we were hooked. We wanted to be Ken Bone. We wanted to idolize Ken Bone. We wanted to turn Ken Bone into a sexy Halloween costume. We wanted to search out Ken Bone’s sketchy history on Reddit. We got our wish.
All of that was leading to this moment. Izod, the official sponsor of Ken Bone, has made the infamous undecided voter a Twitter emoji. With his squared off glasses, brisling facial hair, and signature, red Izod sweater, Ken Bone was born to be an emoji, and now he is one. Forever etched into the history books, the name "Ken Bone" has a symbol that future generations will ponder over, study, and perhaps worship just as we have. Simply use the hashtag #MyVote2016 on Twitter, and he'll appear, watching, protecting, tagging.
In the end, maybe this is where things were always heading. Andy Warhol famously said that in the future everyone would have their 15 minutes of fame, but maybe what he really meant was everyone would have their own emoji. Just look at him, staring back at you, asking a seemingly innocent question about clean energy. What does he look like? Does he resemble all of us, perhaps?
If you stare long enough at the Ken Bone emoji, the Ken Bone emoji stares back.
Frankly, I’m just a little dizzy from the whole thing. Reach out if you even know what’s going on anymore.