Somehow, the awkwardness is oddly captivating when set to the alluring "La Noyée," by Carla Bruni(!).
Angel Del Rosario has been amassing New Era caps since 1991, and his collection now numbers more than 800.
"I don't have a favorite," he says. "I love 'em all, they're like my children." Some he wears, but he buys two of each, so he'll always have one in perfect condition. His family thinks he's stupid for buying so many hats: "You only have one head anyway," they tell him.
Still, he's doubled down on his passion -- he hopes one day to get married in a New Era fitted cap.
New Yorker Zack Hample's collection of more than 5,800 baseballs, both home runs and fouled balls, is the largest in the world. "Yes, I'm obsessed," admits Hample, who's snagged balls since 1990. His only goal during baseball season is to hit as many Major League stadiums as possible and snag at least a thousand balls -- and his success relies on a carefully honed combination of preparation, ingenuity, and pure dumb luck.
"If the White Sox come out early for batting practice, I'm going to throw on my White Sox gear and start shouting at them," he says. But he'll happily switch gear depending on the team. Some of the players make a game out of throwing him the ball: "It's cool to be connected to all these guys. It's my own version of fantasy baseball, where I get to interact and play with numbers and feel like I'm a part of it somehow." Hample also has a rigged mitt, and he yells at foreign players in their native languages.
If you've read this far and consider Hample a Major League distraction, or just a jackass ballhawk, take note: He's written three books about baseball, and he's also started an initiative through which people pledge a dollar amount for every ball he collects. He donates the proceeds to Pitch in for Baseball, a charity that provides baseball equipment to underprivileged kids around the world. "I just love baseball," Hample says, "and I feel like I would be going to games regardless and just being obsessed with the sport."
In case you were wondering, casino exec is still livin de life, but he's tired of livin it alone. So he's teamed up with his cousin Stan, and together they plan to put America's economy back on track. How? I'm not entirely sure, but I think it involves threatening to keep producing these godawful rap videos until all debts are forgiven.
No doubt we'll be sipping Cristal by the supermodel hot tub this time next Tuesday.