So, How in the World Did This Painter Get His Dude-Bits Stuck in a Pipe for Two Whole Days?

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So, How in the World Did This Painter Get His Dude-Bits Stuck in a Pipe for Two Whole Days?
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According to Lan Tien, "It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result." One might use this as a teaching moment to talk about the safety of one's tally-whacker in the open air, but all we're left wondering is just HOW your jingle-jank can "fall" into an open pipe.

These are the mysteries of life, people.

DON'T. LOOK. DOWN.

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DON'T. LOOK. DOWN.
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According to staff at Willis Tower, the cracked portion you see here was a part of the safety seal of the observation platform and not the glass itself. Still, that's the last thing you want to see when you're suspended that high in the air.

Santa Claus Here Wanted to Pay His Ex-Wife a Visit Through the Chimney

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It took the effort of nearly 25 firefighters to get the man out, a complicated process given that every breath he took would lodge him further into the chimney.