florida

Via: PIAOB TV
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This 'Cool Mom', in Florida of course, arranged for a stripper to be the entertainment for her son's 8th birthday party. That's right, the child was turning 8-years old, and she got him a stripper.



In the long run, it's debatable which would be more damaging later in life, a stripper or a clown at your birthday party. My money would be on the stripper (literally) though.

cuba usa raft A Florida Mayor Plans to Go to Cuba on a Homemade Raft
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Florida mayor Clint Johnson was inspired by the struggle of Cuban immigrants who travel to Florida by raft and decided to try it himself. He told The Guardian, "My plan is to go down [to Cuba] and build a raft and come back to Florida on it."

His trip has gotten some support for the attention it's bringing to the danger that Cuban immigrants face. 


via @ClintPJohnson

And he's managed to build a test raft and get it to float. 


via @AustinFullerNJ

But he's having some issues with the boat, although it seems to be floating safely so far. 

Live from Lake Monroe on practice run.

Posted by Clint Johnson on Thursday, March 10, 2016


According to Mashable, the trip from Cuba to Florida could take anywhere from two days to a whole week depending on the circumstances. 
florida doctor A Florida Teen Opened a Clinic and Tried to Bluff His Way Into a Medical Career
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As it turns out, you need a substantial amount of schooling to become a medical doctor. 18-year-old Florida teen Malachi Love-Robinson has been arrested for trying to skirt around that fact by simply impersonating one. According to the Charlotte Observer, this case is connected to a mysterious teen wandering the halls of a West Palm Beach hospital dressed as a doctor one year ago. 

This time it seems that he opened his own clinic. He went under the name Dr. Malachi A. Love-Robinson PhD, HHP-C, AMP-C according to his profile on the website for his clinic the New Birth New Life Medical Center and Urgent Care LLC. 

For those of you unfamiliar with medical certifications, HHP-C and AMP-C mean... nothing. But they do help him sound important! 

The website for the clinic he allegedly started is still active. It even has a picture of the doctors who work there that are definitely real people and not at all people dressed as doctors in a stock photo. 


via nbnlmedicalcenter

Love-Robinson is charged with practicing medicine without a license and is being held on $6,000 bail at the Palm Beach County Jail. 

UPDATE: Love-Robinson is out on bail and has done a very evasive interview:

Via: Playful
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In October, Josh James of Jupiter, FL threw a three and a half foot alligator into the drive through window of a local Wendy's restaurant. The authorities finally caught up with him and he has been arrested because apparently you're not allowed to go around town slinging large, dangerous reptiles at people.

Why would someone throw a three and a half foot alligator into a fast food restaurant? His mother told WPTV, "He's a prankster.  He does stuff like this because he thinks it's funny". 

news-powerball-anonymous-after-winnings-chances
Via: News13
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Power changes people man, but what about $1.5 billion? After another dry weekend the potential Powerball winnings (if anyone actually wins this thing) surpassed the billion dollar milestone. Like, holy sh*t right?


All cross the world, wide-eyed folks young and old daydream, drool, and converse at length on what they'd spend that bag of gold on. Some with outlandishly ill-thought out plans like this dude, that inspired one of the better memes we've seen in a hot minute:


Then we have David Swain. The humble Floridian mechanic bloated with big dreams, who is convinced he has the 'golden ticket.' He's come out as saying he'd want to keep his winnings secret, and can you blame the guy?


Many of us can remember that rapid evolving sequence of chaotic events in 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' when he happens upon his golden ticket. People pretty much go buckwild, running around like a bunch of cracked out headless chickens, and Charlie's probably caught in some twisted limbo where he's not sure whether life's awesome, or he's about to get killed.


Well Swain inspired Flagler County attorney Michael Chiumento to draw up a solid list of recommendations for any Floridian who might become a multimillionaire after those numbers are drawn.


"If your goal is to remain anonymous, you're going to need to form a trust, partnership or corporation, in which your name is not on there," Chiumento said.


"A Powerball winner should first sign the back of the ticket, then make a few copies and put it in a safe spot," Chiumento said.


A big thanks to Chiumento, and a good luck to everyone else out there for the epic drawing on Wednesday.

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Florida what are you doing with yourself? This woman puts on quite the show. At times this almost looks like a frickin spar, and her some sort of untrained Ronda Rousey knockoff.

news-miami-crime-woman-arrested-drugs-wal-mart-chicken-wine
Via: CBS Miami
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Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

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