kill-it-with-fire

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He should change his license plate to just say NOPE.

This massive spider could not have found a more inconvenient place to hang out, aside from on your face.

“Nothing worse than opening your car door and feeling something furry!” writes the uploader in the caption.

They found him just chilling beneath the handle, presumably when they stuck their hand up there to open it.

“It’s a bloody super spider,” he says. “Oh jesus!”

Fortunately, for everyone involved, it eventually plops down and scurries away.

funny-news-fail-spider-banana
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Warning: This story might ruin your breakfast… forever.

A man in Wales recently picked up some bananas at a Tesco supermarket which turned out to be infested with spiders that can both kill you and give you a massive erection.

His wife opened the bag to find a cocoon of Brazilian Wandering Spiders (aka banana spiders) which are known to scurry around on the ground at night and hide in banana plants during the day.

They are considered the “world’s most venomous spider” by Guinness World Records, although there is an anti-venom available so not as many people die from their bites. Their bites have also been known to cause painful erections lasting several hours, and they are being studied as a potential Viagra alternative.

The cocoon started to hatch soon after she made the horrifying discovery.

“The spider cocoon started to unfurl so I put it in a sealed box and put it in the freezer as I read that that is supposed to kill them,” she said.

She then posted the photos to Tesco’s Facebook page for answers. The company told her to just mail in the wrapper so she could get a refund, but she was more concerned with not being attacked by the 8-legged killers than getting a few bucks back.

Tesco eventually asked her to bring the fruit back to the store so they could be investigated.

“We’ve apologized to Mrs. Layton and offered a gesture of goodwill,” a spokesperson said according to Yahoo.

A woman in England recently found a strange stowaway in her can of tuna fish, which turned out to be a tiny crab.

So now you can add bananas and tuna to the list of foods you are too terrified to ever eat again

spiders,news,Kill It With Fire,Probably bad News
Via: Komo News
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It seems like only two weeks ago a Kansas woman set her home on fire trying to deal with the ever-present spider menace. Well, the same thing has just happened with a Seattle man. From Komo News:

A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn't able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

Somewhere out there is a spider with burn wounds and a taste for vengeance. Congratulations, Seattle man, you've created the first spider super villain.

flies,fly,insect,Kill It With Fire,scorpion,stinger,wtf
By Unknown
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Scorpions were bad enough when they didn't have wings! What have we done to deserve this?

In reality, the tail of this fly isn't really a stinger -- it's his giant fly dong.

So sure, scorpion flies are harmless, but that doesn't mean they won't forever haunt your dreams.

[geekologie]

By Unknown
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Kill It With Fire of the Day: Thing-builder Tim Davies shows off his latest monstrosity: A giant inflatable spider puppet.

Makes a great gift for the person who has everything, except arachnophobia.

[superpunch.]

By Unknown
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Nuke It From Orbit of the Day: Animatronic babies need the most attention! (Lest they claw out your eyes while you sleep.)

[mefi.]

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