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trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
Via: Betches
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.


trending twitter news daily mirror fail lol mcharambeface winning zoo contest name
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Oh Internet, how we loathe you sometimes.

Millions were disappointed after gullibly falling for an fake story indicating that "Harambe McHarambeface" won the naming contest for a baby gorilla at a Chinese zoo.

It all started when the crap-tacular Daily Mirror--who never checks the legitimacy of their sources--decided to pick up the story. The "source" was the fictitional "Boston Leader" news website, and the internet ran with it from there:






The truth quickly came out and hearts were broken everywhere...





...and though we might not have a Harambe McHarambeface YET, you can still show your support and buy your "McHarambeface" t-shirt here:





trending news sexual funny american town names
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The good folks over at Estately Blog have an excellent sense of humor.

They "placed our minds in the gutter and spent days looking over detailed maps and scrutinizing the names of all cities, towns, and unincorporated communities for anything that sounded even remotely sexual or perverse."



Have a laugh and enjoy their intended "The Master List of the Most Obscene Town Names in America," as you make your next vacation plans.



Also check out their list of Oddest Town Names in each State as you ponder over the sexual issues of the people of Tennessee...




Via: British GQ
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Oh Amy, how we love you so. Check out 4:15 in the video, where Amy Schumer reveals her sexual history with Patrick Stewart, as she accepted her Man of the Year Award for Best Woman at the British GQ awards ceremony.


You'll always be my Man of the Year, Amy.


Swipe Right of The Day: This Guy Got All The Chicks After Joining Tinder as a Glass of Red Wine
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New Tinder strategy: just act like you're an inanimate object.

It seems to be working pretty well for this guy.

Sean Fahmy over at Food Beast decided to sign up for Tinder posing as a glass of red wine. As everyone knows, chicks "OMGLOVELOVE" red wine.

The results were pretty hilarious...

We tip our glass to you, sir.

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Baseball player Bryce Harper was just named National League MVP last week. He also let the entire world know he doesn't want to be a meme.

The trouble with that is he pronounced meme like "meh-may" and thus was turned into a meme.

An interview with Scott Van Pelt on SportsCenter is where the MVP was where the gaf happened.

And a new meh-may was born...

Welcome to the Internet, Bryce.

We are a cruel people.

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