Today's Lunch Rush brought to you by the 5-year-old daughter of San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro.

What else?

• TDW Geek: This is what live ninja theater looks like.
• Hmmm: Canadian docs say spanking is no longer an acceptable form of punishment
• Sad: Beloved YA author Judy Blume is battling breast cancer
• Yikes: The Biggest Loser is shaking things up by adding teen contestants
• Horrifying: A U.K. groom is crowdfunding his wedding to surprise his bride

Lunch Lady: LeAnn Michele

Lunch Leisure: Broken Robot Love (via)

Lunch List: The Most Memorable Moments From All 28 VMAs

Today's Lunch Rush brought to you by Morgan Freeman in a photo booth.

What else?

• TDW Geek: Lost's Ben Linus to play the Joker.
• Of Course: Obama recruits Harold and Kumar for DNC support.
• Oh, Reddit: Today has been turned into Stop Alec Baldwin Day. Huh?
• Why Not?: Paul Ryan's Secret Service name is Bowhunter.
• Boom: Katie Couric calls out Kate Middleton for being too thin.
• Hmmm: McDonald's has a couple of vegetarian franchises in the works for India.

Lunch Lady: Sandra Faye

Lunch Leisure: Knightmare Tower (via)

Lunch List: 11 Online Artists You Should Know

Lunch Rush: Today's edition brought to you by the End of Summer. (Embiggen.)

What else?

• TDW Geek: Episode 5 of the Doctor Who mini-sode series Pond Life is online.
• Shocker: Henri the Existential Cat took top honors at the first Internet Cat Video Film Festival.
• Tasteless: Ohio State fans have created a T-shirt -- "I'd rather shower at Penn State, than cheer for the [Michigan] Wolverines."
• Sweet: You, too, can make salmon and potatoes in the dishwasher.
• Drowned Out: Al Gore is calling for the end of the Electoral College.
• Why Not: Thieves have stolen millions of dollars of maple syrup.
• That Was Quick: The Clint Eastwood talking to a chair song is here.
• Controversial: Apple keeps banning an app that tracks U.S. drone strikes.

Lunch List: The Top 30 RNC Casual Encounters

Lunch Rush: This edition brought to you by RNC Bingo.

What else?

•  TDW Geek: A 3D Pac-Man room? Yep, it exists.
• Predictable: President Obama's AMA was such a hit that it crashed Reddit.
• Controversial: 4Chan users are gaming an online vote to get Taylor Swift to sing at a deaf school, but the joke may be on them.
• Pitiful: The homeless man from the Time Square fight needs new crutches.
• Brutal: An Oregon kid who spent 11 years in braces is suing his orthodontist.

Lunch List: 10 Of Film's Greatest Comedies

Lunch Rush: This edition brought to you by the "Bloody Best" bloody mary.

What else?

• TDW Geek: Joss Whedon is writing and directing a S.H.I.E.L.D. pilot for ABC
• Idiot: A drunk guy accidentally sent 70,000 chickens to their deaths
• Odd: A Bigfoot imposter was hit and killed by a car while trying to create a hoax
• Phew: Birthday reminders are coming to the Google homepage
• Of Course: Stephen Colbert explains how gay sex causes hurricanes
• Sure: The Republicans have adopted Internet freedom as their own

Lunch Lady: Flame Emin

Lunch Leisure: Oneway (via)

Lunch List: 12 Hotel Secrets By Hotel Staffs

Lunch Rush: This edition brought to you by "Breaking Bad Blue Sky" donuts.

What else?

• TDW Geek: Morgan Freeman and Elizabeth Banks join the Lego movie.
• Mean: Donald Trump tweets some hate directed at Arianna Huffington and her gay ex
• Ballsy: From jail, Pussy Riot members call Putin's regime "scared"
• Bullsh*t: Social media, according to blogger B.J. Mendelson

Lunch Lady: Abigail Ratchford

Lunch Leisure: Strike of Rage (via)

Lunch List: 40 Hilarious Nicolas Cage Face Swaps

Lunch Rush: This edition brought to you by Neil Armstrong. RIP.

What else?

• TDW Geek: What if we could dig through to the other side of the earth?
• Done: Ron Paul, who won't endorse Romney to end his run in Congress, which is up in January
• Yikes: An Australian couple has been fined $4,000 for loud sex
• Failed: Four U.S. soldiers had plotted to overthrow the government and assassinate Obama
• Rumored: The iPad mini will get its own launch event in October

Lunch Lady: Bar Refaeli

Lunch Leisure: The Balance (via)

Lunch List: 25 Amazing Tattoos Inspired By Children's Movies