The Most Florida Headline of the Day: This Woman Went on a Crack Binge, Gave Birth, and Gnawed off Her Own Umbilical Cord

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The Most Florida Headline of the Day: This Woman Went on a Crack Binge, Gave Birth, and Gnawed off Her Own Umbilical Cord
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There isn't much more that can be said other than that. I'll let the news piece speak for itself:

Vincent Terry, Hassell's boyfriend, left with the 11-month-old boy to run an errand, so Hassell delivered the baby alone in the bathtub. According to a Marion County Sheriff's Office report, Hassell even cut the umbilical cord with her teeth.

"At one point, according to her telling investigators, the baby stopped breathing," said Judge Cochran, public information officer for the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Hassell's first call wasn't to 911, though. It was to her boyfriend, who she told to hurry up and get back to the motel. But, as Terry sped to return, he was pulled over by Marion County deputies. He was wanted for attempted murder in Colorado.
Her other child, 11 months old, is in state custody. There are no words, people.

Stephen Colbert to Replace David Letterman on 'Late Show'

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Stephen Colbert to Replace David Letterman on 'Late Show'
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CBS has made a five-year deal with Colbert, which was announced Thursday by CBS Corp. Letterman announced his pending 2015 retirement on April 3.

"Simply being a guest on David Letterman's show has been a highlight of my career," Colbert said. "I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave's lead. I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth."

Comedy Central released this statement: "Comedy Central is proud that the incredibly talented Stephen Colbert has been part of our family for nearly two decades. We look forward to the next eight months of the ground-breaking Colbert Report and wish Stephen the very best."