nope

Today in "Things that make you squirm" news:

A 26-year-old student from California thought he mad a migraine, but nope. He had a live tapeworm inside his brain.

After a month of intense pain, Luis Ortiz's mother drove him to the hospital where he started vomiting and eventually list consciousness.

Doctors ran tests and found that a a tapeworm larva had implanted itself inside his brain, forming a cyst that was blocking circulation.

"We made a hole in skull bone over the eyebrow and drove the camera into the centre of the brain and fished out the cyst and the worm… The worm was still wiggling when we pulled it out," Dr Soren Singel, one of the neurosurgeons who performed the emergency surgery, told the Napa Valley Register.

"Another 30 minutes of that blockage and he would have been dead. It was a close call," he said.

Doctors say he had probably eaten a salad with unwashed ingredients.

And this is why you should never eat salad.

Breaking news: teenagers are teenagers.

8th grade white girl Caycee Cunningham is calling racial discrimination on her Utah school, which is demanding she change her dreadlocks hairstyle.

The school has a policy on distracting hairstyles and unnatural hair colors. Cunningham is saying its a party of her 'spiritual journey' and her mom is getting right in line with that.

Local channel FOX 13 has the story:

After studying abroad in Guatemala, Cunningham at Lincoln Academy grew dreadlocks as part what she calls a spiritual journey in her Hindu beliefs.

"I think they could be a little more accepting of it, and I think they should, because we do live in America and it does kind of boggles my mind a little bit," the teen said.

Caycee's mother Tonya Judd said she received a phone call from the school principal at Lincoln Academy saying Caycee's dreadlocks were against the school dress code and she was asked to remove them.

Judd believes if students of other ethnicities are allowed to wear them, her daughter should be able to wear them as well.

"My daughter is white and there happens to be other kids in the school who happen to be other race and ethnicity and they have hair that can't be combed, and there's never been an issue regarding that before," Judd said.

Ugh.

You can watch the television news report, featuring the very unfortunately named high school principal Jake Hunt, here:

Thousands of spiders have teamed up in Rowlett, Texas to create a Mega-web. And that's really the scientific term used to describe this disgusting phenomenon.

Agrilife.com talked to entomologist Mike Merchant about this horror show:

"Someone stepping off the road for a closer look will see thousands of lanky spiders darting among the webs that extend up to 40 feet into the trees," he said. "There is a surreal quality to the extensive webbing covering these trees."

"[I]t is rare to see them building such large nests in the U.S. Spider experts have indicated that those 'right conditions' appear to include a glut of small insects like midges that emerge at night from lakes. Without lots of food, these communal webs just don't seem to form."

"These types of spiders are unusual in that they are not aggressive to other spiders of the same species on the same web," he said. "They also are not known to bite or be harmful to humans."

Yeah, whatever buddy.

Local station WFAA also reported on the spillage of nightmare fuel, saying that it is many different species of spiders that make up the monstrosity which will haunt your dreams into eternity.



Something like millions of mosquitos, flies and other spider food is supposed to be the cause of this cataclysm and now that they've gotten the taste for teamwork, probably nothing will stop them ever.

You just know this is a bad graphic to see on the nightly news:



Here's the local footage of God's latest joke on humanity:

According to an Australian news outlet, Dylan Thomas woke up to a bizarre red trail going from his navel to his chest. When the angry red line grew even longer, he consulted a doctor who advised it was simply an insect bite and gave him some anti-histamine cream.

Within hours painful blisters erupted along the red line, sending him back to hospital where a dermatologist determined a tropical spider had burrowed into the 21-year-old's body presumably through a recent appendix scar.

Here's the aftermath:

This badass spider used a rock to anchor its web... or it's just a jerk and wants people to walk into a rock.

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks mom's spaghetti. But he keeps on forgetting mom's spaghetti. The whole crowd goes mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti, mom's spaghetti.