A 24-year-old man spent 16 hours in a jail cell following an arrest for alleged criminal damage.
"On arrival at Perry Barr (the name of the UK jail) I was impressed by how modern and clean the building looks. I was dealt with promptly by the custody officer and shown to my cell.
He wrote: "Once in my cell I was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness and décor neutrally decorated to please all parties but done to a high standard."
However, he had to deduct points since he had concerns over a hair found near the en-suite toilet and felt that cups of tea could have been provided more promptly.
Chief Inspector Paul Minor, West Midlands Police Criminal Justice Manager, said: "We feel it's a five-star facility. The reviewer has been very complimentary about the facility and staff, but I think he's been a little harsh by awarding it just a three-star rating." How British!