We are thankful that this girl (above) doesn't understand how turkeys are born. [Nerissa Hawkinson]
Obama's daughters appeared less than enthused about the annual turkey pardon, and one GOP staffer publicly shamed them for it. [Gawker]
This guy covered his roommate's entire bedroom in tin foil while he was away for the holiday. Because that's what (sociopathic) friends do. [TheTrubadour44]
Less people shopped Black Friday this year, but that didn't stop them from tearing each other apart for TVs [The Street Fights]
Amid the Thanksgiving travel chaos, US Airways determined that pigs can't fly [CNN]
Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley mysteriously claims the band was "screwed over" by Macy's at this year's parade. But it was actually Gene Simmons' tongue that didn't get the air time it deserved. [Rolling Stone]
Warning: Graphic turkey violence.
Did you ever wonder how they choose which turkey gets pardoned by the president?
A bloody farm fight to death obviously.
"Gobble Games" - featuring a "cameo' by Obama - imagines a world where tribute turkeys need to tear each other apart for their freedom.
Remember their sacrifice as you're stuffing yourself with them this week.
Cameron Diaz hosted SNL on Saturday for its Thanksgiving episode, and this might be the best skit of the night.
With the help of Diaz, the women on the cast performed a song about being back home with your parents for the holiday, and - you know - mooching, napping and eating way too much food out of bowls.
In Wallingford, Connecticut, the turkeys eat YOU for dinner.
"Fred" and "Ethel" have been spotted chasing cars and causing havoc in the streets nearly every morning by commuters.
Either way, these turkeys won't be going in an oven without a fight!