As society plummets ever deeper into the pit of despair, from which there is no chance of returning, a beacon of light shines in the distance.
There, at the bottom of the pit, lay the 2017 Carponizer Carp Calendar.
For the those unfamiliar, as undoubtedly many of you are, the Carponizer Carp Calendar is an erotic calendar that features models wearing nothing but a carp. Think of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue if all the women were holding a giant carp. Sexy.
The Toronto Sun reports, "The weird calendar was the brainchild of Hendrik Pohler and it’s getting a five-star rating on Amazon."
They're not lying. But the Amazon description is the real money. According to Amazon, the calendar is “one of the most extraordinary ideas of how this magnificent fish can be presented in an appealing setting,” managing to “courageously” make each month a little better. It boasts 12 “magnificent” caprs to create 12 “formidable and unmissable images.”
“Whether for yourself or as a tasteful gift: the 2017 Carponizer Carp Calendar will not only make men's hearts beat faster.” (The sentence just ends like that so we’ll never know what else this calendar does in addition to making men’s hearts beat faster). “
Wow. Nothing says tasteful gift, like calling your sexy fish and bikini girl calendar tasteful in the description.
This is pure peak 2016.