A new theme park called "Machine Gun America" is opening December 20 in Orlando, because teaching kids how to use automatic weapons in the same area as Disney World is a great idea!
Dubbed "Orlando's first automatic adrenaline attraction" the park says it offers "an exciting way to experience firearms in a safe, secure, state-of-the-art environment designed to give anyone, regardless of their experience level, the thrill of a lifetime."
Guests cannot bring their own guns, you can't drink and anyone 13-years or older is allowed into the park.
The 13,000-square-foot facility has, according to the press release, 10 firing lanes, three simulators, a full-immersion video experience with surround sound, a gift shop, refreshment area and VIP Lounge and viewing area.
There are also a number themes you can choose from, including a zombie apocalypse and one called "Automatic Divas:"
Special Ops Red, White and Blue
Feeling patriotic? Shoot military-grade firearms and feel like a national hero.
A shooting experience perfect for guys and dolls looking for the thrill of some of
the most infamous 'heaters' from the 1930s and 40s.
The Walking Dread
Are you a survivor? Brave the zombie apocalypse with the help of fully automatic
firearms. Don't forget, aim for the undead head.
Channel your inner Bond and experience the thrill of being an elite special agent.
Shoot legendary sophisticated guns in classic Bond style, tuxedo not required.
Fulfill your Wild West destiny with classic guns of outlaws and lawmen alike that
are sure to hit the target for any cowboy.
Let your bad side come out to play and take charge with polished pistols and
powerful machine guns for the biggest and boldest rush of excitement.
Big Screen Legends
Say hello to our little friends. Live out your favorite movie scenes with some of the most legendary guns in film history and become the hero of your own story.
There has of course been some pushback over the opening of the park from groups like Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, but MGA is still opening up as scheduled.
"It's romanticizing our freedom and our history," General Manager Bruce Nierenberg told Florida's WTSP. "I mean, it's part of American life. That's how we gained our freedom."
If you live in Allouez, Wisconsin, you may have recently noticed a giant snow monster roaming the city streets with a poodle.
No, no one spiked your eggnog. This is all too real.
A woman calling herself "Bumble" has been spotted walking around the neighborhood dressed as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with her dog named Blizzard.
After images of the duo spread online, residents were all like WTF?
According to Fox 11:
When asked what she was doing walking the streets of Allouez, Bumble said she was visiting from Misfit Island.
She also said she is simply there to "bring joy, happiness."
But she forgot to mention "terror," and "confusion."
As part of their initiative to recruit women, ISIS has released a recipe for pancakes.
Earlier this year, the terrorist group established a finishing school called "Al-Zawra," to attract women to the cause who are "interested in explosive belt and suicide bombing more than a white dress or a castle or clothing or furniture."
The school provides training in areas like sewing, cooking, first aid and social media so women can assist their husbands in battle.
The pancakes post is a follow up to their "balls of date mush" recipe from earlier in November and is pretty basic.
The biggest atrocity: they suggest honey and not maple syrup.
A small town in Poland is upset about Winnie the Pooh's genitalia - or lack thereof - and they do not want him exposing himself to their kids.
Council members in Tuszyn were recently discussing potential mascots for their playground when one of them suggested the pants-less cartoon bear. Things just went downhill from there.
Here are some actual quotes from the conversation, according to "Croation Times:"
"It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children."
"It doesn't wear underpants because it doesn't have a sex. It's a hermaphrodite."
"This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut his [Pooh's] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity."
China is fighting the good fight against nature - doing everything it can to keep Winter at bay.
To help battle the blues, the city of Changchun in China is installing plastic sheeting with pictures of lush, green shrubbery around the edge of the street, hiding all of the real plants which are now brown and bare.
"Many people feel depressed in the winter, and the site of the denuded trees only contributes to that feeling," said a local official. "We want to try and cheer people up a bit by putting some greenery around to make them feel better."
Thousands of meters of the plastic sheeting were rolled out this week, and if they're lucky, plastic flowers may be on the way as well. Seriously.
Just don't bother stopping to smell these roses.