NOPE of the Day: An Australian Man on Vacation in Bali Discovers a Tropical Spider Living Underneath His Skin

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NOPE of the Day: An Australian Man on Vacation in Bali Discovers a Tropical Spider Living Underneath His Skin
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According to an Australian news outlet, Dylan Thomas woke up to a bizarre red trail going from his navel to his chest. When the angry red line grew even longer, he consulted a doctor who advised it was simply an insect bite and gave him some anti-histamine cream.

Within hours painful blisters erupted along the red line, sending him back to hospital where a dermatologist determined a tropical spider had burrowed into the 21-year-old's body presumably through a recent appendix scar.

Here's the aftermath:



Kansas City Restaurant Owner to Female Reporter: "I Would Love to See My Meat in Your Mouth!"

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The last time the Kansas City Royals made the playoffs was in 1985. This year, they not only made the playoffs, but are currently a few wins away from the World Series. As you can imagine, the KC metro area is all abuzz with Royalmania.

To celebrate, a burger joint in town called the Westpoint Flea Market is selling burgers at the prices they were in 1985, which means paying only $2.99 for a $7.99 burger. KCTV news reporter Courtney DeHoff went to the Westpoint Flea Market to sample the offerings, and when she asked for a burger, owner Joe Zwillenberg laid down the worst innuendo possible. Hoo boy...

American Horror Story in Real Life: If You Have a Fear of Clowns You Might Want to Steer Clear of This Town in California

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This sounds like every horrible nightmare you've ever had, but in reality it's just a couple taking photos for an Instagram project. Or, at least that's what they want us to believe...

WTF Headline of the Day: Woman Grows a Potato in Her Snoo Snoo as DIY Birth Control

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WTF Headline of the Day: Woman Grows a Potato in Her Snoo Snoo as DIY Birth Control
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A young Colombian woman inserted a potato inside herself in a terrible attempt at contraception. After leaving the potato inside for TWO ENTIRE WEEKS she discovered the potato had started to germinate and grow roots. Colombia Reports claims the offending potato was removed without surgery, and the lasting effects should be psychological only.

The most shocking aspect of this idiotic ordeal is that it the Colombian woman's mother gave her daughter the idea to shove a potato inside of her vagoober. INB4 moms in the United States decide that the birth control pill gives you autism and start stockpiling potatoes.