Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.
A quick look locally and we found a real gem:
Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...
Glad FB Marketplace is taking up prime real estate in the app with deals like this!!! pic.twitter.com/a8ugvXJHuU— Jillian D'Onfro (@jillianiles) October 3, 2016
There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:
...or a passage through time:
Or some lamb:
A yurt for your bird...
...and a creepy AF clown toy:
This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.
Remember Teddy Ruxpin, the animated talking teddy bear from the 80's? Well, he's back, and even more creepy, with fully animated digital eyes, hitting store shelves in 2017.
Though currently a prototype, they seem keen to keep the creepy eyes an integral part of the bear in the future, as they brought one out for the public at a trade show recently:
I feel like we've seen how this ends already...
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about punching Martin Shrekli in the face amidst the plethora of irritating news about the latest dumb thing the jackass said? Yeah, well, turns out Shkreli is feeling extra charitable these days; and in an attempt to raise money for the son of his friend Mike Kulich--the XHamster publicist who passed away--he's letting the highest bidder punch him in the face.
American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:
She's definitely cute
We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.
Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.
We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.
...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:
Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...
...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.
Don't you just hate our faces?!
Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.
Oh Internet, how we loathe you sometimes.
Millions were disappointed after gullibly falling for an fake story indicating that "Harambe McHarambeface" won the naming contest for a baby gorilla at a Chinese zoo.
It all started when the crap-tacular Daily Mirror--who never checks the legitimacy of their sources--decided to pick up the story. The "source" was the fictitional "Boston Leader" news website, and the internet ran with it from there:
The truth quickly came out and hearts were broken everywhere...
...and though we might not have a Harambe McHarambeface YET, you can still show your support and buy your "McHarambeface" t-shirt here:
The 32-year-old from Adelaide driver had also made a clusterf**k of other illegal alterations to his car, because of course he had.Hopefully at least one more South Australian driver knows better than to get saucy with their car repairs, otherwise they'll get burned by the Police.