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trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
Via Betches
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.


trending food news chicken nugget ranking new candy corn brunch flavors snacks
Via Thrillist
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It's that time of year again, you're back at school, back at work, and ready to gorge yourself to stay warm as the temperatures turn colder. So we've got some candies we dare you to try, and some fail-safe chicken nuggets to wash them all down with!

Brunch-Flavored Candy Corn is Here

So Brachs has decided to give us our first 'dare candy' of the season in their new Brunch-Flavored Candy Corn.



The bag contains a mix of three flavors, each more nauseating in a candy corn than the one before, and emitting an odor "very reminiscent of a Yankee Maple Pancake candle":

- French Toast & Maple Syrup
- Waffles & Strawberry
- Chocolate Chip & Pancakes

The good folks over at Thrillist just taste-tested them to give you an idea of what to expect:

We recommend you give 'em a try yourself and let us know what you think. Pick 'em up here.

A Definitive Ranking of the Best Fast Food Chicken Nuggets

Oh nuggets, in your little nuggety goodness and bite-sized chompiness, how I love thee!! So when I saw this ranking of the best fast food nuggets, I knew I had to memorize it.

Between Burger King, McDonald's, and Wendy's, who would win?

In one corner is McDonald's, the original creator of the McNugget, a name whose meaning flows deeply into the American psyche and pop culture with toys and phrases based around the juicy meat treat:





In another corner is the winner of 'freshest tasting burger' in my household, Wendy's, and traditionally known for its chicken, Burger King... who would reign supreme?

So the Burger King rankings were surprising, as they have the best chicken sandwich of the bunch (IMO), with a consistent meatiness that the others couldn't always deliver.






Okay, so it's wasn't Burger King... that's weird.

Could it be the Wal-Mart of restaurants, McDonald's? Or my homeboy of freshness, Wendy's?



With an overall winning score of 90.5 (out of 120 possible points), I leave it up to you to guess in the comments section below (before checking) as to who won the Nugget off: Wendy's or McDonald's????


Find out the actual winner here, and run your own taste test and let us know which YOU prefer, in the comments section.


We know why he has 'no comment' now...