Move over, Elf on a Shelf, because Santa Claus is coming to town.
You'll be seeing some new, futuristic modes of surveillance this Christmas, as two new Santa Cameras hit the shelves. Meant to scare children into behaving, these new Claus-monitoring systems aim to replace the Elf on the Shelf as the premiere Santa surveillance hardware.
Created by Emmiroo’s Photography & Gifts, the Santa Camera looks like a security camera you'd see in a store, however, this supposedly has a direct line to the big man himself, who presumably sits in a room surrounded by television screens as a opposed to doing his job. This leads to an important question: Is Santa Claus' magic bound to the technology available at the time, or has he always had these security cams and chose not to use them.
Santa is bringing some next level fear and intimidation this holiday season. The Cam even comes with a cryptic note written by Kris Kringle, indicating that he’s got “keep a very close eye on you all.” We don't know what Santa thinks we did, but whatever it is, we're sorry.
In addition to the physical camera, Santa Cam ornaments are also set to appear on Christmas trees this holiday season.
It’s only a matter of time before a whistleblower leaks the wide range of intel Santa’s collecting in the North Pole, Snowden style.
You gotta hand it to them, people in Portland sure are industrious.
On the one hand, you've got this guy whose goal it is to poop in public areas. He comes prepared and he gets the job done.
On the other hand, you've got a business owner who can't take it anymore. So he sets up a hidden camera to tape the pooper pooping, then creates flyers of the fecal fugitive's face and posts them all over town.
Local station KOIN has been tireless in their efforts to see justice served.
Many Southeast Portland residents want to know the circumstances behind the man who has been captured doing his business outside a building near SE 58th and Powell.
"I find it interesting that he has toilet paper with him, it's very pre-planned," Catrina Salazar, who works nearby at Phix Hair Studio, told KOIN 6 News. "You just don't really know what to expect around here. People, they like do their own thing, they kind of march to the beat of their own drum."
The business owner said the latest incident happened over the weekend. Since it wasn't the first offense, he decided to deem the suspect the 'Portland Pooper'.
The police are on the case and this BM fiend could face "offensive littering" charges.
But you know, he's already had pictures of his face circulated while taking a crap, so the punishment has already begun.