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Via: Entertainment Weekly
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Real talk, let's call this what it is: 'Tales From the Crypt - An Autobiography of M. Night Shyamalan's Career.'

We're still trying to figure out what happened with 'The Happening.' Shyamalan's about as inventive as a bird constructing a nest.

All digs on Shyamalan aside, there might yet be cause for a bit of excitement over the reimagining of this series. The project will be a part of the new released two-hour horror block at TNT that's set to include short and long-form programming, led by 'Tales' content and 'curated' by Shyamalan.

Keep your fingers crossed, knock on wood, wish on falling fu*king stars, and all that because TNT chief Kevin Reilly told reporters that "Night is definitely going to direct the first one and we'll see how that evolves."

Ahem. Devolves?

Via: Channel 4 News
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Sit down Neil McCabe.

"It's just part of life, I think," proposes McCabe at one point, when he's confronted with the unavoidable fact that more than 130 people have already died from gun violence in the U.S. this year.

This is where Snow channels his inner GoT Jon Snow, and goes off in the most effective, yet vaguely stoic way possible.

"No, it's part of death, Mr. McCabe," responds Snow. "That's death. That's dead people, people who have died as a result of guns."

Stand up. Now leave Neil McCabe.

news-bradenton-burrito-heroin-drug-dealer-caught
Via: Bradenton Herald
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The suspect handed the Blake Medical Center employee a bag of food he said was for a patient. The employee then checked the food inside the bag, and discovered a syringe hidden inside the burrito.

In light of recent news, what's actually unhealthier though? This drug dealer's heroin-infused culinary twist on the traditional burrito? Or whatever slid out Chipotle's kitchen last summer amidst the Norovirus outbreak scandal?

What are the odds Jesse Pinkman had the car running? Walter White is not pleased with all this heat.

Via: DavidBowieVEVO
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David Bowie's back as an exceptionally tortured artist with his latest music video/creepy masterpiece "Lazarus", directed by Johan Renck.

To put it lightly this is a highly disturbing four-minute montage of what the most dramatic operation room might look like behind the curtains. But Bowie's singing, and he's a genius so it's totally chill.

Chock-filled with convulsions, manic saxophones, and hospital beds, which have always been kind of creepy in themselves; you've got to give it to Bowie for returning to the scene with a bang.

This track's a glimpse off his new album, which comes out tomorrow, 'Blackstar"' and yes, on his 69th birthday. F*ck yeah David Bowie.

The video's director, Renck, also added, "one could only dream about collaborating with a mind like that; let alone twice. Intuitive, playful, mysterious and profound… I have no desire to do any more videos knowing the process never ever gets as formidable and fulfilling as this was. I've basically touched the sun."

news-picture-mike-rowe-bank-robbery-rumor
Via: Uproxx
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Mike Rowe needs you to hear him loud, and hear him clear, when he tells you he's not robbing banks.

The former 'Dirty Jobs' Host and 'Deadliest Catch' narrator's under a great deal of scrutiny after an image of what appears as Mike Rowe from a frickin parallel universe, holding up a bank, surfaced. The resemblance is uncanny, in every sense of the word.

The rumors went viral after various folks across Facebook joked that this was a maddened, wild ploy by Rowe to kickstart a new season of 'Dirty Jobs.'

Rowe was quick to the punch and fought to quell the fast uprising of these rumors by releasing an alibi on his Facebook page: "For what it's worth, I was in Kansas Monday, and can prove it, if need be."

Rowe went on to bury himself in a bit of a hole by offering up something of an outlandish theory, "what if the thief was not an idiot, but a clever person of below average height wearing a Mike Rowe Mask?"

Alright. Will the real Mike Rowe please stand up?

news-funny-win-picture-cat-pokerface-london
Via: Mashable
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Last November this cat set the internet ablaze after being spotted on a supermarket shelf in South London, with an unparalleled pokerface.

Well, this cat's back. Yes, the exact same one, in the exact same store.

Here's the photo from last November, in which he's wearing the same don't-fu*k-wit-me expression.

It's time for Sainsbury to face the cold, hard, and definitely furry truth; this cat ain't going anywhere.

woman describes tinder date with pharma bro martin shkreli
Via: The Washington Post
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If there was ever a time to point to something and say "see, girls really do like jerks!" this would be it.

Late last year, a woman named Jacklyn Collier went on a date with pharma bro Martin Shkreli some time after his AIDs drug price hike occurred. And then she wrote about it for The Washington Post.

They 'met' on Tinder, where he wooed her with lines like "I’m that guy who has been in the news lately," and sent her photos of his license and credit card as proof of identity. Who could resist a date with that guy? To be fair, Collier describes her motivations for the date as a little less than perfectly honest:

I also had a fantasy of being the manic pixie dream girl who helped him turn his life around. I pictured us opening an HIV/AIDS clinic together and wandering the streets of New York, handing out wads of cash to homeless people and other strangers.


On their date, Shkreli was apparently very awkward and polite. Collier is a vegetarian, so Shkreli (via his assistant) made sure the restaurant could accommodate her diet:

Martin asked, “Is there a vegetarian menu? My assistant said there was a vegetarian menu. There’s a vegetarian menu, right?” He wasn’t being a jerk; it was more of an “I’m stressed because my date doesn’t put raw fish in her mouth” kind of comment.


Aw, he was stressed! He also apparently admitted that just one drink was enough for him: "Martin told me that he was a lightweight, something I’d never heard a man admit on a date (or ever)." Collier seems kind of impressed by this.



As the date went on, Collier and Shkreli discussed their days and Shkreli laid on some thick philanthropy talk, but overall seemed like an okay dude:

Throughout our date, I saw occasional glimpses of the cocky Martin I had expected, but those were the moments that seemed the most false to me, as if putting on a confident-dude front. He seemed the most genuine when he was acting like the guys I hung out with in high school (I dated the president of the chess club); that’s probably why I felt so comfortable on our date.


At the end of the date, Shkreli pulled a real power move that Collier totally didn't see coming: he ordered a $120 cup of tea they had joked about being ridiculous earlier, then proceeded to tell Collier he wasn't much of a tea drinker. Collier describes her reaction to the moment: 

I thought of all the good I could do with that money — donating it to charity, buying a new winter coat, buying myself 20 Venti iced soy vanilla chai lattes. He might as well have eaten a $100 bill in front of me.


Afterwards, Shkreli's driver took Collier home. She was left not interested in dating him, but without the sour taste one would expect from spending an evening with 2015's most hated dude:

I am not trying to excuse his professional behavior or say he’s a good person. (I can’t really tell from one date and occasional text communication.) But he’s a lot more interesting and complex than I would have imagined.

My only regret is not guzzling a cup of that $120 tea. As far as Tinder dates go, I’d call that a win.

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