This is, of course, a reference to Ryan Reynold's poorly received first try at Deadpool in 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine'.
AKA, the Merc Without the Mouth
Bindi Irwin, daughter of late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, has won season 21 of Dancing With The Stars.
The 17-year-old Australian had consistently wowed judges this season with her top-notch performances and tearful tributes to her father.
Bindi beat finalist Nick Carter to take the trophy.
"Honestly, Bindi deserved it," the former Backstreet Boy insisted after the ceremony. "Bindi deserved it! She kicked butt."
And just look at this lift! It's clear that the best contestant won.
Well, that win was short-lived.
A woman identified only as "Chantelle" by an Australian radio station made one very costly mistake after winning $825 on a 100-to-1 horse race bet.
She took a selfie with her ticket and posted it to Facebook. DOH!
To her dismay, someone saw the barcode of the winning ticket in her photo and used it to claim her winnings.
"To the low life who is obviously my friend on Facebook and used my photo to claim our winnings. You're a massive d*ck. You ruined my day," she wrote on Facebook.
She told the radio station that police were able to track where the money was claimed, so she might get some sweet redemption.
But you kind of have to give it to the person who claimed the cash.
That was genius.
Have you ever wondered why Australians don't finish the ends of their words and generally sound like they're super chill?
It's because their ancestors were super chill. And super drunk.
Dean Frenkel, a communications expert at Victoria University in Melbourne, claims that early Australian settlers from Britain were big fans of alcohol. So much so, that they developed a slurred accent that lives on today.
"Our forefathers regularly got drunk together and through their frequent interactions unknowingly added an alcoholic slur to our national speech patterns," he wrote in The Age.
"For the past two centuries, from generation to generation, drunken Aussie-speak continues to be taught by sober parents to their children."
He says the average Australian only speaks at two-thirds capacity and with improper articulation.
What does the queen have to say about this lazy approach to language?
Emma may have Down syndrome, autism and a cleft palette, but this video proves that hasn't kept her from starting a business as a paper shredder for businesses.
Her mother, Jo, was so determined to help her daughter find independence that the two of them brain stormed ideas on what work she could do that make everyone happy. Emma loved shredding paper and the rest is almost history.
Receiving employment was only the first step in branching out to shredding paper for multiple businesses. And with a name like Master Shredder, which does indeed come from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' archenemy, how can she lose?
Well done, Master Shredder!
There's nothing like an new haircut to put a pep in your step.
But this Australian sheep is probably feeling a little better than with the average haircut. And that's because he is also 90 pounds lighter.
A Canberra sheep named Chris was recently captured by animal welfare workers after getting lost from his herd for more than two years. It seems that during this time he really let himself go.
Chris' fleece was sheered off Thursday by four-time national shearing champion Ian Elkins, and it weighed in at around 90 pounds, easily topping the previous record.
Fleece this large can cause serious health problems, said RSPCA ACT chief executive Tammy Ven Dange.
"It can actually make it impossible for them to go to the bathroom. We don't know how bad the damage could be because this has been building for awhile," she said.
Chris is reportedly in good health, and will likely join a local herd to live out the rest of his (lighter) days.