Florida of the Day: Drunk Shoots Man Guarding Turtle Habitat in the Butt

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Turtle habitat guard gets shot in the butt by drunk.
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Guarding endangered sea turtle nests doesn't sound like it would require a gun, but one guy in Florida thought it necessary.

New York Daily News reported that 72-year-old Stanley Pannaman was just minding his own business July 18, volunteering for an organization who protect sea turtle habitats until the little eggs hatch and the turtles find their way into the sea.

The Tamarac resident, who grew up in Queens and raised his family in Bay Shore, Long Island before retiring to Florida in 2001, volunteers for a local group that sits by sea turtle nests on the beach and ensures they are not disturbed until the tiny baby turtles hatch and go to the ocean.

The nests are surrounded with sticks and tape and Pannaman makes sure no person or animal hurts the sea creatures. When they are born the tiny turtles may be drawn to the light from nearby cars or homes, so Pannaman will pick them up and bring them to the water.



That is until Michael Q. McAuliffe came along and ruined the night.

McAuliffe, who was very drunk, got close to the protected habitat and in the volunteer's face about his dislike of "turtle people". He jumped on Pannaman and took the Vietnam veterans gun away. McAuliffe then shot the elderly man in the abdomen where the bullet lodged in his derriere.

The police came, arrested McAuliffe and sent Pannaman to the hospital who was then released July 19.

Despite being shot with his own wedding, the Florida has no regrets.

Pannaman said he doesn't regret bring the gun and is just happy he didn't bring his normal Taurus .357 Magnum that would have caused him greater injuries.

"I figured I was going to the beach, I figured I could just carry the .32 caliber pistol," he said.



Thankfully, all the sea turtles are fine and nary a bobcat was seen near the nest.

Tool of the Day: Browser Extension Swaps ‘Jeb Bush’ & ‘Marco Rubio’ with ‘Florida Man’

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We could all use more “Florida Man” with his crazy antics in our lives, and fortunately we have two of them running for president.

Marco Rubio has officially declared his candidacy, and Jeb Bush is expected to officially throw his hat in the ring soon, even though he sort of already let it slip a few weeks ago.

And so the Independent Journal Review took the next logical step and developed a new Chrome extension which replaces any instance of their names with “Florida Man.”

For example:



More importantly, it will also randomly swap all references to “Florida Man” with one of the two candidates, creating some amazing headlines like this one:


No that didn’t actually happen to Rubio. but it certainly makes reading about the already crowded Republican race much more entertaining.

Once you download and enable the program, head on over to Florida Man’s Twitter account for endless fun.

Well done, IJR, well done.





‘Murica of the Day: There’s a Machine Gun Theme Park Opening in Orlando

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Meanwhile in Florida…

A new theme park called "Machine Gun America" is opening December 20 in Orlando, because teaching kids how to use automatic weapons in the same area as Disney World is a great idea!

Dubbed "Orlando's first automatic adrenaline attraction" the park says it offers "an exciting way to experience firearms in a safe, secure, state-of-the-art environment designed to give anyone, regardless of their experience level, the thrill of a lifetime."

Guests cannot bring their own guns, you can't drink and anyone 13-years or older is allowed into the park.

The 13,000-square-foot facility has, according to the press release, 10 firing lanes, three simulators, a full-immersion video experience with surround sound, a gift shop, refreshment area and VIP Lounge and viewing area.

There are also a number themes you can choose from, including a zombie apocalypse and one called "Automatic Divas:"

  • Special Ops Red, White and Blue
    Feeling patriotic? Shoot military-grade firearms and feel like a national hero.

  • Gangster Land
    A shooting experience perfect for guys and dolls looking for the thrill of some of the most infamous 'heaters' from the 1930s and 40s.

  • The Walking Dread
    Are you a survivor? Brave the zombie apocalypse with the help of fully automatic firearms. Don't forget, aim for the undead head.

  • 007
    Channel your inner Bond and experience the thrill of being an elite special agent. Shoot legendary sophisticated guns in classic Bond style, tuxedo not required.

  • Western Shootout
    Fulfill your Wild West destiny with classic guns of outlaws and lawmen alike that are sure to hit the target for any cowboy.

  • Automatic Divas
    Let your bad side come out to play and take charge with polished pistols and powerful machine guns for the biggest and boldest rush of excitement.

  • Big Screen Legends
    Say hello to our little friends. Live out your favorite movie scenes with some of the most legendary guns in film history and become the hero of your own story. There has of course been some pushback over the opening of the park from groups like Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, but MGA is still opening up as scheduled.

"It's romanticizing our freedom and our history," General Manager Bruce Nierenberg told Florida's WTSP. "I mean, it's part of American life. That's how we gained our freedom."

Hack of the Day: Anonymous Shuts Down Government Websites in Florida

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Remember that video of the 90-year-old man who was arrested for feeding the homeless in Ft. Lauderdale?

So does Anonymous. And the hackers decided to do something about it Monday in typical Anonymous fashion - with a cordial debate and months of planning and petitioning. Kidding - they hacked the hell out of them.

The group posted a video on YouTube warning the city that it would shut down its municipal websites if it didn't overturn a number of its homeless and panhandling regulations.

"It has come to our attention that Mayor John P. Seiler has become an embarrassment to the good law-abiding citizens of Fort Lauderdale," says the voice in the video. "You are a disgrace."

Soon after, they followed through with their promise, and a number of sites including the police department's were briefly out of commission.

But did it do anything to change the mayor's mind about the laws? Not in the least.

"I don't think we're going to be revisiting this ordinance anytime soon," Seiler said.

Meet Captain Hornblaster, The Star of Election Day in Florida

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Rick Scott may have won the race for Florida governor, but a mysterious masked man is stealing his thunder.

Interrupting on air news reporters is an age old tradition, and now thanks to Florida, we have our latest contender in the battle to become the next viral sensation: Captain Hornblaster.

ABC Action News reporter Sarina Fazan was busy discussing Charlie Crist, when he appeared behind her shouting his name.

Fazan was unphased, but a few questions remain: What is the true identity of Mr. Hornblaster, and will he be running in 2016?

A Florida Woman (of Course) Spent $20,000 to Surgically Implant a Third Breast. In Other Words, Get Your Ass to Mars.

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Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida massage therapist, says she sought the surgery in part to make herself "unattractive to men" (Total Recall fanboys might be in trouble still) and hopes to score her own MTV reality show out of her notoriety. What a world we live in...

This Kid Just Beat the Living Tar Out of a Hungry Alligator

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Nine-year-old James Barney Jr. of Florida was taking a dip in a lake when a 400 pound alligator tried to make a meal of him. Miraculously, the boy fended him off with a few quick hits and Barney only has bite marks to show from it. In a few years if you meet someone by the same name, be very careful during your game of "Two Truths and a Lie," is all we're saying.

Check out some of the interview footage via Huffington Post here: