scientists report that monkeys and apes have the physical ability to talk but not the right mental ability
Via: Get Yarn
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Part of what keeps this world from falling to a Planet of the Apes-type situation is humankind’s ability to speak. Language gives us an unbelievable advantage in the animal kingdom, allowing us to keep our would-be conquerors at bay.

But as it turns out, monkeys do have the physical requirements necessary for speech, they just don’t have the right brains for it. Phew. That’s a relief. Let’s just hope evolution stops right here.

According to The New York Times, “A team of researchers reported that monkeys have a vocal tract capable of human speech. They argue that other primates can’t talk because they lack the right wiring in their brains.

“‘A monkey’s vocal tract would be perfectly adequate to produce hundreds, thousands of words,’ said W. Tecumseh Fitch, a cognitive scientist at the University of Vienna and a co-author of the new study.”

via On No They Didn't

The article continues by explaining the human speech occurs due to a “complicated choreography of flowing air and contracting muscles. To make a particular sound, we have to give the vocal tract a particular shape. The vocal tracts of other primates contain the same elements as ours — from vocal cords to tongues to lips — but their geometry is different.”

So basically the only thing saving us from having our planet conquered by some apes is them figuring out how to fit a square peg in a round hole? We’re doomed.

via 20th Century Fox UK

chinese new year fail This Suggestive Chinese New Year Poster Is Definitely Hiding Something
Via: Lehu Zhang
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As the poster says, 2016 is the year of the monkey. Do you see the monkey in this minimalist design? The little ears, kind of a long face but it's pretty clear. Some people have pointed out that it looks like something else... though it's hard to place it. 

What is it... 

via @Decertati0

No that can't be it. 

via @BigPuppy_Stuart

How rude! 

via @JonQuixote

Yes, that's it! Exactly what I was thinking...

cute monkey dogs Adorable Monkey Multiplies His Cuteness by Adopting a Puppy
Via: Logical Indian
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Thanks to nature we get to see this precious, furry animal cradling a different, also precious smaller animal. This photo was posted on the Logical Indian's Facebook page with a story about their relationship. 

There was a strange phenomenon seen on common busy street. A monkey adopted a pup out of sheer compassion. And he protects the pup from other stray dogs. Seeing this amazing inter- species relationship and love from this guardian Monkey they were given food and there also the Monkey makes sure the pup is stomach full before eating himself.

Look at how much this monkey loves that puppy. 

Via: U.S. News & World Report
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Science is proving what we all expected from the very start.

Obnoxious men who catcall are most likely compensating for something else.

A study published Wednesday finds that monkeys with louder calls used to attract females also tend to have smaller testicles.

The research studied Howler monkeys, the loudest species on the planet with a roar that can be heard three miles away.

"In evolutionary terms, all males strive to have as many offspring as they can, but when it comes to reproduction you can't have everything," lead researcher Jacob Dunn of the University of Cambridge's Division of Biological Anthropology told U.S. News & World Report.

Basically—The louder the howl to attract females, the smaller the balls and less sperm said balls produce.

Science is fun.

Via: Barcroft TV
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This crazy 3-year-old monkey enjoys pulling a wool hat over her head to blind herself and running around until she hits something.

Pretty standard monkey business.

She’s one of four gibbons that live at the Monkey Island Rescue in Greenwood, Missouri, which houses over 250 rescued animals.

Her owner, Dana Savorelli, says she’s been playing this game for several years and came up with it on her own.

“You have to wonder about the level of intelligence that is being processed,” he says.

Via: World Forum
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And the Hero of the Year award goes to this little paramedic primate.

A monkey was shocked while walking on some high-tension wires above the train tracks in Kanpur, India this past weekend, rendering him unconscious.

Fortunately for him, his heroic friend (another monkey) came to his rescue.

In this video captured by onlookers, he picks up the injured monkey and tries to revive him by dipping him in water and biting his neck.

Slapping him around eventually did the trick. After dragging him to safety, he finally got up and walked away.

Nice work Hero Monkey. Hero Tortoise would approve.

parody ikea monkey - 6875530240
By Unknown
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Of course there's an IKEA instructional manual on how to properly dress the IKEA Monkey, a 7-month-old Rhesus Macaque that became an overnight celebrity after he was found wandering around an IKEA store in Toronto, Canada earlier this week.