Not The Onion of the Day

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Not The Onion of the Day
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Breaking news for Penn State football fans -- Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" has been banned from the music playlist at Beaver Stadium.

Because the "touching you touching me" lyrics obviously are inappropriate in light of the Jerry Sandusky abuse scandal.

[thanks, slade!]

Not The Onion of the Day

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Not The Onion of the Day
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This is a screengrab from today's Fox Nation story on President Obama's support of gay marriage. It has since been changed to read: "Obama flip flops on gay marriage." Still a fail.

[thestranger]

Restaurant Review of the Day

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Restaurant Review of the Day
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Marilyn Hagerty has been writing the Eatbeat column for North Dakota's Grand Forks Herald for "30 or 40 years," and the 86-year-old journalist is now receiving national attention for her review of the most hotly-anticipated new restaurant to hit Grand Forks in years: The Olive Garden.

In today's column, Hagerty called the chain "the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks," praising the Tuscan decor as "impressive" and the alfredo as "comforting on a cold day."

Hagerty's review brought in hundreds of times the traffic of a usual Thursday column, prompting the paper to post a follow-up story about her newfound viral fame.

They explained to readers that "residents of more metropolitan areas found it amusing that a chain restaurant would be reviewed. In larger markets, newspaper reviews are reserved for exclusive, high-end eateries that offer fine dining."

Hagerty said her daughter wanted her to read all the Facebook comments about her review, but "I told her I'm working on my Sunday column and I'm going to play bridge this afternoon, so I don't have time to read all this crap."

The joke may be on the people making fun of Hagerty, though. According to a former editor at the Herald, her seemingly glowing assessment of the Olive Garden was anything but.

"By the way, her regular readers will recognize that as a fairly negative review since she spent a lot more time on the ambience than the food," he said.

[eater / grandforksherald / villagevoice]

Not The Onion of the Day

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Not The Onion of the Day
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Not The Onion of the Day: A Minnesota man recently filed a lawsuit against his uncle for uploading an unflattering Christmas photo to Facebook.

In his harassment suit, Aaron Olson says his uncle posted childhood photos of him on Facebook, and proceeded to add "mean comments" underneath. Among the offending photos: "[Olson] posing in front of

Bad Joke of the Day

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Bad Joke of the Day
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Bad Joke of the Day: Hahahaha! Wait... I don't get it.

Neither did a lot of other people, some of whom thought The Onion's Twitter account might have been hacked.

It seems the satirical periodical was attempting to reference

Not The Onion of the Day

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Not The Onion of the Day
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Not The Onion of the Day: While Stephen Colbert's Super PAC was urging straw poll voters to write in "Rick Parry" as their candidate of choice, a future Rick Perry political committee treasurer was serving as Colbert's master of coin.

Salvatore Purpura, whose