Prisoner gives his jail cell three-star rating in hilarious TripAdvisor-style review
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A 24-year-old man spent 16 hours in a jail cell following an arrest for alleged criminal damage.

"On arrival at Perry Barr (the name of the UK jail) I was impressed by how modern and clean the building looks. I was dealt with promptly by the custody officer and shown to my cell.

He wrote: "Once in my cell I was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness and décor neutrally decorated to please all parties but done to a high standard."

However, he had to deduct points since he had concerns over a hair found near the en-suite toilet and felt that cups of tea could have been provided more promptly.

Chief Inspector Paul Minor, West Midlands Police Criminal Justice Manager, said: "We feel it's a five-star facility. The reviewer has been very complimentary about the facility and staff, but I think he's been a little harsh by awarding it just a three-star rating." How British!

Via: Gothamist
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Two men, Herbert-Gumbs and Mark Soto were arrested with enough blow last Thursday to frost a fu**ing ski slope—136 pounds to be exact. According to drug prosecutors the drugs seized could've been resold for as much as 3 million dollars.

Perhaps even more shocking than the sheer amount of cocaine discovered, was the decision by the two crooks to stamp some their product with "Messi," as a shoutout to their favorite famous Argentinian soccer player.

Herbert-Gumbs and Mark Soto each face four felony drug possession charges that combined could clock out at 100 years in prison.

Idea of The Day: Indonesia Might Use Crocodiles to Guard Death Row Inmates
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Being on death row in Indonesia has just gotten a whole lot more...deadly.

The country's anti-drug agency has recommended a plan that would create an island surrounded by crocodiles to hold death row drug inmates.

Anti-drugs chief Budi Waseso says that inmates can't convince crocodiles to let them go. Solid logic. He plans on visiting various parts of the country in search of the perfect specimens.

From The Guardian:

The plan is still in the early stages, and neither the location or potential opening date of the jail have been decided.

Indonesia already has some of the toughest anti-narcotics laws in the world, including death by firing squad for traffickers, and sparked international uproar in April when it put to death seven foreign drug convicts, including Australians Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran.

Someone was pretty excited about the plan.

Real Talk of The Day: Shia Labeouf Recounts His Many Run-Ins With The Law in Essay
Via: E! News
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Fun fact: Shia Labeouf has been arrested five times.

Even more fun fact: He made a "terrific egg sandwich" during his last incarceration.

The actor and walking performance art piece gabs about his many run-ins with the law in Prison Ramen, a new book about celebrities and how being locked up has affected them.

Let's break down Shia's arrests from E! News:

That time he stole some Nike Cortezes.

"I have been incarcerated five times. The first time I was only nine years old. It was in Pacoima, California. I was arrested for stealing a pair of Nike Cortezes from a local shop and held for six hours," he writes.

That time he stole a Gameboy Pokémon.

"The second time I was eleven, in the city of Tujunga, California. I was arrested for stealing a Gameboy Pokémon from Kmart. That time, too, I was in a substation for about six hours," he continues.

That time he tried to stab his neighbor.

"The third time I was twenty, in Van Nuys, California. I tried to stab my neighbor and spent two days in jail. While I was there, I at least understood that being in jail is not the move," he admits. "It sucks ass."

That time he wouldn't leave Walgreen's and that time he disrupted a Broadway show.

"The fourth time I was in Chicago and I wouldn't leave Walgreen's, so I was taken to spend the night in jail. For some reason, I had the best sleep ever," he writes. "The most recent time was 2014, when I was twenty-eight and in New York City. I went to see the play Cabaret. I didn't behave very well during the performance and ended up spending twenty-five hours or so behind bars..."

Shia Labeouf: Rebel, Outlaw, The People's Criminal

Manchester prisoner climbs to roof for protest, destruction time.
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A prisoner in a maximum security Manchester prison climbed up to the roof sometime on Sunday demanding better prison conditions and heckling prison guards.

According to The Guardian:

Convicted murderer Stuart Horner has been on the roof of the jail, also known as HM Prison Manchester, since about 2pm on Sunday, defying efforts to talk him down and shouting to fellow prisoners, who are on lockdown in their cells.

...Pictures from the scene show a man perched on the gable roof of the 19th-century, panopticon-style prison, which was slick with early morning rain. On Sunday night, according to the Manchester Evening News (MEN), he was seen climbing poles on the roof, removing his jogging bottoms and shouting remarks such as: "100% reoffender".

Horner, who is visible and audible from the rooftop above the walls of the jail, has complained about prison conditions and shouted he wants to change prison history.

Here's a video showing Horner letting out his aggression on the prison: