Spider web found that says 'lol'.
Via: io9
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Charlotte is laughing at you.

It's been a weird couple weeks in spider world. It seems like their intelligence has grown at an exponential rate and no one knows where it will end.

Let's recap.

Scientists have discovered spiders that know how to parachute effectively and how to tie up stone in their webs, probably to drop on unsuspecting passerbys.

They've even started joining up by the hundreds of thousands to create masses mega-webs.

And now this.

Spiders have learned to read, then learned to write with their webs, then learned enough to understand the subtlety of Internet slang to throw shade at the world.

Our one savior is the cutest spider ever who we want to have as our Ninja Turtle friend.

Remember him?

At least we are still ahead of them. Facebook said that people aren't really using 'LOL' anymore, instead relying on more nuanced phrases like 'haha' and emojis.

Get with the times, spiders. You haven't caught up to us quite yet.

UC Berkeley researchers found skydiving spiders in South America.
Via: io9
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University of California Berkeley researchers have found spiders in Panama and Peru that can steer themselves in a free fall to land where they'd like.

Probably on your face. Not really.

These tree-dwelling species are giving those researchers some insight into the actual evolution of flying insects, which is super neat even though it ignites the nightmares in your sleep.

Look into its face.

io9 discusses these spider powers discovered by the researchers.

To test their abilities, the researchers dropped 59 Selenops spiders from either canopy platforms of tree crowns in Panama and Peru. The vast majority (93%) directed their aerial trajectories towards nearby trunks. After landing, they re-oriented themselves and walked head-first towards specific targets.

The scientists say that this type of behavior may have preceded the origin of wings. The spiders are exceptionally thin, and they exploit the powers of lift and drag by spreading their legs wide open. They're even able to right themselves in midair when they turn upside-down. The biologists also witnessed spiders who bounced off a tree trunk, only to recover and resume the glide back down to the surface.

They put together this nifty panic-attack-inducing video to show off the spider's skills.

You can read the whole scientific study here.

Thousands of Spiders make a mega web and destroy your sanity. Nothing can stop them now.
Via: io9
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Thousands of spiders have teamed up in Rowlett, Texas to create a Mega-web. And that's really the scientific term used to describe this disgusting phenomenon.

Agrilife.com talked to entomologist Mike Merchant about this horror show:

"Someone stepping off the road for a closer look will see thousands of lanky spiders darting among the webs that extend up to 40 feet into the trees," he said. "There is a surreal quality to the extensive webbing covering these trees."

"[I]t is rare to see them building such large nests in the U.S. Spider experts have indicated that those 'right conditions' appear to include a glut of small insects like midges that emerge at night from lakes. Without lots of food, these communal webs just don't seem to form."

"These types of spiders are unusual in that they are not aggressive to other spiders of the same species on the same web," he said. "They also are not known to bite or be harmful to humans."

Yeah, whatever buddy.

Local station WFAA also reported on the spillage of nightmare fuel, saying that it is many different species of spiders that make up the monstrosity which will haunt your dreams into eternity.

Something like millions of mosquitos, flies and other spider food is supposed to be the cause of this cataclysm and now that they've gotten the taste for teamwork, probably nothing will stop them ever.

You just know this is a bad graphic to see on the nightly news:

Here's the local footage of God's latest joke on humanity:

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Spiders have already infiltrated our bananas, and now they’re souring another of our favorite fruits.

A 21-year-old woman in Vermont was recently bitten by a black widow spider after reaching into a bag of grapes she purchased at the local Shaw’s supermarket.

That’s a whole bunch of “nope” right there.

She and her mother captured the little culprit that had crawled up her arm and brought it with them to the hospital where the woman was treated and eventually released.

The creature is identifiable by a red hourglass-shape on its belly, so if you see the mark, stay away.

Here’s the supermarket’s statement about the incident, via WPTZ:

The health and safety of products we sell, and our customers, is our first concern. We have been closely monitoring the situation and been in contact with the family. We replaced product in the customer’s refrigerator as a precaution and took immediate action to inspect the product at the customer’s store. We also are inspecting the product in all of our stores and have been in touch with the supplier, which has an extensive food safety management system in place.

While their venom is poisonous, most people just experience a pin prick followed by dull muscle pain along with other possible symptoms.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine:

Severe symptoms usually start to improve within 2 to 3 days, but milder symptoms may persist for several weeks. Death in a normally healthy individual is very rare. Young children, the extremely ill, and the elderly may not survive a bite.

Black widows were also found in bags of grapes in stores across several different states back in 2013.

This mast March a woman in Wales found a Brazilian Wandering Spider in her bag of bananas, which is considered the “world’s most venomous spider” by the Guinness World Records.

Other spiders have also been in the news a lot lately, particularly in Australia, where they are literally raining down from the sky as part of a phenomenon called “mass ballooning.”

Just don’t try to kill any of them, or you might end up with hundreds of even smaller spiders on your hands like this guy did.

spiders,wtf,appendix scar,nope
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According to an Australian news outlet, Dylan Thomas woke up to a bizarre red trail going from his navel to his chest. When the angry red line grew even longer, he consulted a doctor who advised it was simply an insect bite and gave him some anti-histamine cream.

Within hours painful blisters erupted along the red line, sending him back to hospital where a dermatologist determined a tropical spider had burrowed into the 21-year-old's body presumably through a recent appendix scar.

Here's the aftermath:

clever,nope,spiders,pics,spider webs
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This badass spider used a rock to anchor its web... or it's just a jerk and wants people to walk into a rock.

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