This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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Who on earth would attach a helpless turtle to a high-flying bouquet of helium-filled balloons?

That's what cops in Oceanside, CA, are trying to figure out after resident Chanelle Wright noticed just such a spectacle last weekend:

He was just swinging his arms trying to get out of it. Somebody had taped him to the balloons.

The fire department eventually arrived with a ladder truck, but a big gust of wind blew the box turtle and his entourage to the ground just in time.

The turtle was cut free, and is resting comfortably at the local Humane Society while police investigate.

[arbroath]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day
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Oh, thank goodness -- someone talked about fight club.

Toddler Fight Club, that is.

Three Delaware women at Hands Of Our Future Daycare have been accused of encouraging their charges to fight each other after a cell phone caught the alleged abuse on video.

According to police, a child can be heard on the video yelling, "He's pinching me!" and one of the women responds, "No pinching, only punching."

"One of the kids involved ran over to one of the adults for protection, but she turned him around back into the fight," said Dover Police Capt. Tim Stump, who is leading a full investigation into the incident.

The bottom line is that the kids were whaling on each other and the adults were doing nothing to stop it. In fact, they were egging it on.

[death+taxes]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day
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The U.K.'s High Court has ruled that Tony Nicklinson, the U.K. man with locked-in syndrome who says his life is "dull, miserable, demeaning, undignified, and intolerable," does not have the right to die.

The court blatantly ignored Oregon's Death with Dignity Act in its ruling, saying that there was no precedent for assisted dying anywhere in the world:

It is not for the court to decide whether the law on assisted dying should be changed and, if so, what safeguards should be put in place. Under our system of government these are matters for Parliament to decide... not for the court on the facts of an individual case or cases.

Nicklinson, "devastated," likely will appeal to the Supreme Court:

I thought that if the court saw me as I am, utterly miserable with my life, powerless to do anything about it because of my disability then the judges would accept my reasoning that I do not want to carry on and should be able to have a dignified death. ...

Judges, like politicians, are happiest when they can avoid confronting the real issues and this judgment is not an exception to this rule… this means yet another period of physical discomfort, misery and mental anguish while we find out who controls my life -- me or the state.

[theindependent]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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This Is  All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day
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How's this for horrific -- a Delaware pediatrician who wrote a book about kids who've had near-death experiences has been charged with "waterboarding" his 11-year-old daughter.

The girl told police that her father, Dr. Melvin L. Morse, 58, would hold her face under a running faucet so the water would shoot up her nose.

The "waterboarding" happened at least four times in two years. The girl's mother, Pauline Morse, 40, did nothing to intervene and also has been charged, police said.

The girl told police she "could never understand what she did to be punished" and felt scared, according to court documents. She also said her father told her that "she could go five minutes without brain damage."

A review of Morse's book, which he promoted on The Larry King ShowOprah, and 20/20, says that "In hundreds of interviews with children who had once been declared clinically dead, Dr. Morse found that children too young to have absorbed our adult views and ideas of death, share first-hand accounts of out-of-body travel, telepathic communication and encounters with dead friends and relatives."

The girl and her 5-year-old sister are in the care of Delaware child protective services.

[cnn]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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But no matter -- Americans will still DVR the hell out Honey Boo Boo and her hot mess of a family.

[dlisted]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day
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A Jackson, Mississippi couple was forced into a change of venue for their recent nuptials after members of their predominantly white church objected to the ceremony of the black bride and groom. Pastor Stan Weatherford of First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs suggested the relocation after a small group of dissenters -- estimated around five or six -- made their opinions known about Charles and Te'Andrea Wilson's celebration:

I didn't want to have a controversy within the church, and I didn't want a controversy to affect the wedding of Charles and Te'Andrea. I wanted to make sure their wedding day was a special day.

Weatherford performed the ceremony at another church, but the situation isn't sitting well with other members of the congregation, who say they were completely unaware of the situation. Member Casey Kitchens shared her thoughts:

This is a small, small group of people who made a terrible decision. I'm just ashamed right now that my church would do that. I can't fathom why. How unfair. How unjust. It's just wrong.

[gawker]

This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day

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This Is All Kinds Of Wrong of the Day
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YouTube musician Mike Lombardo -- a Berklee College of Music grad whose piano rock ballads and tutorials earned him 200,000 subscribers -- has been arrested by the FBI for encouraging minors to send him explicit photos and videos of themselves masturbating.

FBI Agent Alix Skelton said the investigation began after a complaint alleged Lombardo was planning to have sex with a 15-year-old girl in December 2011. The FBI spoke to two other girls, both 17, who told agents that they had exchanged sexually explicit photos and videos with Lombardo.

"All three victims advised that they 'met' Lombardo online because they were fans of his music," Skelton wrote.

According to Skelton, one victim was 14 "when she began sending nude images and videos of herself to Lombardo via Skype." Skelton said the teen said that Lombardo asked her if she "liked taking orders" and would ask the girl to "strip until she was completely nude." Once she was naked, Lombardo would allegedly direct the child to masturbate.

Lombardo has been charged on four different counts. If convicted, he could spend anywhere from five to 100 years in prison.

[thanks, jay!]