Some Americans accidentally invaded Canada this weekend when about 1500 folks in floats got pushed off-course by strong winds, pushing them onto the Ontario side of the St. Clair River in Michigan.
Unwilling to share their Molson, the Canadians insisted on bussing everyone back to the border to U.S. Customs:
It has been crazy busy. Thank you Sarnia Transit. Also thank you Esso & Lanxess. Couldn't have done it without you. pic.twitter.com/a47hmm92QS— Sarnia Police (@SarniaPolice) August 21, 2016
We can guarantee they kept the party going once they got back on U.S. soil, because #Merica'!
Remember, this is the land that, until recently, was known as the "land of rape and honey."
Oh Canada, you do keep trying, don't you?
Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau was leaving the beach as a bride-to-be was coming down the stairs. With his wetsuit pulled down to his waist, he photobombed her wedding pic with his bare torso.
Canada is lucky that its PM does not have the physique of, say, D. Trump...That would not have been a sight for sore eyes.
(Photo by wedding photographer Marnie Recker)
Google trends shows searches for "how can i move to canada" spiked following the end of "Super Tuesday" after Donald Trump won the most delegates in the Republican party. The climb started slowly at first but then jumped to 1,150%.
via @smfrogers, @moneyries
Coincidence? Possibly, it looks like Taco Bell in Canada has a Cheetos Crunchwrap so that's worth taking into account.
More likely though, is that a lot of people are entertaining the idea of getting out of the country while the borders are still open before Trump becomes president and builds a wall around the US. Especially Chris Christie, like 30% of those searches were just him looking for a way out.
Canada's dreamy new prime minister, Justin Trudeau, will be the first prime minister to walk in Toronto's Pride Parade.
He was also part of the parade last year as a candidate.
This year's theme is "You Can Sit With Us".
Such an inclusive statement is very fitting to accompany the year a Prime Minister who has made headlines by creating a diverse and gender equal cabinet walks in the parade.
Cape Breton Island in Canada has set up a website encouraging those who plan on fleeing the U.S.A. if Donald Trump wins the Presidential election to immigrate to their beautiful island. They are highly reviewed as a tourist spot and before you ask, yes, they are 100% serious. It even says so in their FAQ:
Why are they doing this? Apparently the island's locals are desperate for company. The website explains it like this:
Our population is shrinking. A slow economy, in combination with out-migration has us on an unsustainable path. The truth is we welcome all, no matter the ideology. We have a beautiful island, a friendly people, a rich culture and a bright future. Join us here on Cape Breton Island!
Canada just out Murica'd the United States.
Ontario burger chain The Works has unveiled a hamburger that is stuffed and topped with Reese's peanut butter cups.
Cue the mouth watering.
The Frankenstein burger is part of the restaurant's "Get Stuff'd" campaign, and is described as:
"Stuff'd with Reese Peanut Butter Cups candy right inside our juicy beef patty and topped with crispy onion strings, two strips of smoked bacon and even more Reese Peanut Butter Cups candy!"
Diabeetus doesn't count during Halloween, right?
There's a new hunk causing a stir online, and we can only blame Canada.
Justin Trudeau, the 42-year-old leader of the Liberal party, was elected yesterday as the second youngest ever Canadian Prime Minister.
His election made history for this reason, and got Americans interested in Canadian politics for the first time ever. But people only seemed to notice once thing: Trudeau is a total beef cake.
The greatest joy of my life is watching Americans realize that Canada's new prime minister looks like THIS. pic.twitter.com/Nq7LC5TVqN— Scare-a Beninghosta (@SaraJBenincasa) October 20, 2015
They couldn't help but notice that Canada just got a major upgrade.
Canada just went from this to that pic.twitter.com/kVbOzbqAJI— *baseball(Jays) fan* (@DuncanIdunno) October 20, 2015
Here's Trudeau doing a striptease for a charity event. fans self
halfway through "become prime minister of Canada and chill" and he gives you this look pic.twitter.com/Ab8EStbAVY— Sean McElwee (@SeanMcElwee) October 20, 2015
God Bless you, Canada.
Trade agreement and chill?
We would react like that as well.
12 co-workers at the Ontario-based vehicle evaluation business Black Books found out they were multi-millionaires in the most boring setting possible. They all chipped into a lottery pool, led by Dennis Cartier, and ended up winning $60 million, the largest jackpot in the lottery's history.
Cartier found out they had won, but didn't tell them right away. He waited to hold an impromptu meeting, going over some facts and figures before surprising the group with a 'report' that actually let them know they would receive $5 million each (before taxes).
CBC talked to some of the winners:
"Dennis deserves an Academy Award for this one," said co-worker Brad Rome. "He kept that incredible secret for days, then as calm as calm could be, he surprised us with the news."
Cartier said he didn't find out about the big win until he checked the numbers on Saturday afternoon while on his way to pick up lunch.
He checked his ticket at a gas station and couldn't believe his eyes. He then raced home, signed the ticket and put it on the refrigerator.
"I wanted to stay calm, eat my burrito and check the numbers again online. Every single number matched up, so I went back to where I bought the ticket and that's when it all became very real."
Cartier, who was not supposed to work Monday, arrived at the office in sandals and a T-shirt instead of his usual suit. He called a work meeting and broke the news.
This right here is great.
Thirty three-year-old Christopher Hiscock seems like a pretty normal guy according to the National Post.
Except of course for the fact that he stole a truck to drive west, broke into a ranch and spent the day living comfortably in its confines before the resident came home and found Hiscock.
"She found the accused in her home watching TV," Crown lawyer Mike Wong said.
"He had started a fire in the fireplace and prepared himself a meal. He said he had been driving by and the door was open, so he came in.
..."The accused appears to have done some laundry. He also fed the cats and put out some hay for the horses," Wong said. "He used (the residents') toothbrush and shaver, he had taken some meat out of the freezer to thaw and he had written in their diary."
Yes. That's right. He even found the residents' diary and wrote in it.
In beautiful proof that the law can sometimes work for the people, the court released his one diary entry.
"Today was my first full day at the ranch," he wrote in the diary. "I fed the cats and horses. So much I can do here I have to remind myself to just relax and take my time.
"I don't feel alone here, I guess with 2 cats and 3 horses it's kinda hard to be alone. Last night I had a fire in the house. It was so (peaceful). I slept like a little baby.
I saw a picture in the basement on the wall of a man holding and weighing fish on a boat. Looking at him I realized we look a lot alike, but I think I'm more handsome."
They did not release either a picture of Hiscock or a the picture of the man weighing the fish, so we cannot confirm or deny whether Hiscock is more handsome. Although that question will keep us awake at night.
The story has a kind of happy ending, since he was only given probation by the judge.
Hiscock, who has no prior criminal record, apologized in court.
"I made a lot of mistakes," he said. "There's really no excuses for it."
He was still beaming about his brief stay at the ranch.
"Beautiful ranch," he said. "Gorgeous. I was driving and I just turned in. Beautiful place."
Judge Chris Cleaveley placed Hiscock on a one-year probation term with orders barring him from contacting the residents of the ranch and the owner of the Ontario truck.
But his future prospects look less than ideal.
"I really have nowhere to go," he said... "The woods is a good place, I suppose. There's a lot of fish out there."
Never stop dreaming, folks.
As is their wont, South Park destroyed Donald Trump last night.
Trump has obviously been all over everything over the past few months, most recently facing off against Stephen Colbert on The Late Show. And the creators of South Park ain't havin' it.
Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been regularly involved in politics, everything from Kim Jong Il lamentation in Team America: World Police to the President Obama's first election episode which aired the day after voting.
In the episode, Donald Trump becomes the Canadian president and he must be stopped. According to the show, they thought his candidacy was a joke, but they let the joke go too far.
So in very South Park fashion, Mr. Garrison invades Canada to sexually assault Trump to death.
To quote the show:
"Did you hear the good news? The Canadian president has been f*cked to death!"
Toronoto Maple Leafs player Nazem Kadri was benched on Monday because he overslept and missed a team meeting.
So a reporter for Canada’s CP24 was out on the streets asking fans what they thought of the decision.
One man seemed to have something intelligent to say… at first.
“He gets paid a lot to be there,” he says. “So I think he should just f*ck her right in the pu**y.”
The reporter was not pleased, and she quickly sends the camera back to the anchor.
“Oh my goodness,” she says. “That was awful.”
This one however, appears to be all too real.
This is the stuff of nightmares, especially if you're already scared of flying.
An Air Canada flight was forced to make a crash landing on Thursday, when one of its tires burst soon after take-off from Calgary.
But as the plane went down, the landing gear collapsed, and its propeller broke off, slicing into the plane and hitting passenger Christina Kurylo in the head.
Fortunately, no one died, and there were only minor injuries.
"I'm really lucky. It could have been a million times worse," said Christina Kurylo. "I could have died, you know, you never know what could have happened."
Kurylo was one of 5 employees from an Alberta-based radio station that were all on board when the incident occurred. And they seem to be taking it all in stride.