FAIL

chinese new year fail This Suggestive Chinese New Year Poster Is Definitely Hiding Something
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As the poster says, 2016 is the year of the monkey. Do you see the monkey in this minimalist design? The little ears, kind of a long face but it's pretty clear. Some people have pointed out that it looks like something else... though it's hard to place it. 

What is it... 


via @Decertati0

No that can't be it. 


via @BigPuppy_Stuart

How rude! 


via @JonQuixote

Yes, that's it! Exactly what I was thinking...

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Russell Wilson Took a Stab At Creative Writing to Express His Love and Ended Up Just Using the First Thing He Googled

Russell Wilson wanted to shout his love from the Twitter tops with (more than one) #WomanCrushWednesday posts about Ciara. He searched desperately for the words to describe her beauty and settled on a mash-up of corny, poetic words from the first creative writing website he found.

twitter FAIL romance ciara russell wilson love - 722693
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NSFW Warning: She starts throwing around some salty language when she starts getting really belligerent. 

This woman tried to hop in an Uber and steal the ride from the unrelated group of people who originally called the car. At least she knew it was time to go home, unfortunately she took out her anger on the driver and his car when he told her he would not be the one to take her. 

The description of the video tells the story up to the start of the video: 

We were on the phone with this uber driver while he pulled up to our location. Out of nowhere the girl in the video gets in the backseat of his car and won't get out. We told the driver it was ok, to just cancel our ride, but he did not want to take her anywhere so he kept telling her to get out.

Eventually the driver gets out and says he's calling the cops to get her out of the car. After a couple of minutes of the driver pretending to talk to the cops (im assuming he was pretending because they never showed up at first), the girl decides to reach into the front seat, grab his keys, and start walking away with his keys in her hands.... That's where the video starts...

According to the video description, she managed to walk away without being arrested. Her name has been released as Dr. Anjali Ramkissoon and according to University of Miami Medicine, she has been placed on leave pending an investigation. 

If potential career obliteration isn't enough retribution for you, don't worry. The internet hate machine was primed and ready to pick up on this incident. 


via @iamcorlissking


via @MorganAnnetteP


via @DanishSait

In the video she can be heard saying, "Oh no! I have lost my mind", while throwing things out the window of the car. Although she was saying it sarcastically, truer words have never been spoken. 

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Which excuse do you think this busted Chef will try to use: that he's just a Line Cook wink or that it's just sugar addiction he's trying to feed? 





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If you're having trouble, the flight attendant's announcement was "The captain cannot take off when we have ice on the wings, and we don't want to die."



Passenger Ella Ryan, posted to Instagram her account of the chaotic travel delays, "This is what happens when you've been delayed almost 8 hours, everyone's at a lost including staff 'we don't want to die' absolute mayhem. All hell was breaking loose when a member of staff made this outrageous announcement."



She also revealed passengers were "continuously receiving inconsistent reasons for the delay" and were only given a £3.50 ($7.20) voucher. You'd think after 8 hours they'd get a full refund.



The discount airline Ryanair responded with only a statement of, "We will be speaking to the crew member involved and apologize for the regrettable comment she made in the heat of the moment".



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Steve Harvey boldly asks for Miss Colombia's honest reaction to his Miss Universe flub, and she cold burns him with her suggestion. 





video-real-life-pokemon-beluga-uses-water-pulse
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Clearly what's going on here is our pony-tailed Pokemon trainer at hand is too low a level to tame the marshmallow-toned blubbery beast of a beluga.

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Primaries loom heavy on the horizon and we're all focused on the big, weighty stuff that matters, like who will run this country into the ground slow as possible, or potentially effect some real, quantifiable positive change—psyche.


Rubio's gleaming, stack-heeled ankle boots he wore whilst out campaigning in New Hampshire January 3rd, are the talk of the allegedly politically-savvy town. Look at these sick puppies:


And what would what appears as a percolating apocalyptic political fallout be without Rand Paul dropping a video on Twitter where we basically watch him put on a Rubio-mocking fashion show in Whoopi Goldberg's dressing room.


At least Rubio capitalized on all this child's play when he released the following statement that calls this clusterf*ck of nonsensical schoolyard bullying out for what it is:


"Let me get this right," Rubio said in his speech. "ISIS is cutting people's heads off, setting people on fire in cages, Saudi Arabia and Iran on the verge of a war, the Chinese are landing airplanes on islands that they built and say belong to them in what are international waters and in some ways territorial waters, our economy is flat-lined, the stock market is falling apart, but boy are we getting a lot of coverage about a pair of boots. This is craziness. People, have they lost their minds?"


The upside, and that is if there's any glimmer of 'win' here, is that this video's vaguely reminiscent of Far Far Away Idol; and this is a great thing, because we're going to watch that now.


In reality though, Jeb Bush broke through the ceiling of weird with this campaign video that's actually more bizarre and a staggeringly less amount of awesome than Far Far Away Idol.

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This is what happens when you're the Canucks and you put a halt on the Florida Panthers 12-game winning streak. On and off the ice Floridians are bound to stir some sh*t up.

At least we have here a miraculous, spontaneous display of Panthers broadcaster Dennis Potvin throwing out a straight up elementary schoolyard-caliber burn at the Sedin twins.

news-us-fugitive-sends-lima-police-selfie
Via Buzzfeed
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The original photos received with disapproval from Mr. Pugh:


Just cause you're on the run, doesn't mean you stop caring about the looks--good and bad.


"This photo was sent to us by Mr Pugh himself," Lima Police Department wrote in a post.

Google logo


"Man, they just did me wrong," Mr Pugh disclosed while on an Ohio radio station about why he sent the selfie in the first place.

"They put a picture out that made me look like I was a Thundercat... or James Brown on the run. I can't do that.


Fans of this madness even banded together to pitch their efforts together, and start up a Facebook page for Pugh.

news-shia-labeouf-sweatpants-fail
Via X17
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Kudos to the young and seemingly continually controversial stud for his commitment to maintaining his sobriety; but dude, mega props for this sweats and socks-tucked-in combo. At least his lady lover friend Mia Goth (the two have been dating on and off since 2012) doesn't mind.


In other news, LaBeouf just won a lawsuit against his uncle, and will receive a $1 million dollar payout. It sounds like LaBeouf's uncle Barry Said is one lowballing, cheap son of a wayward son; and in short, never came through on paying Shia back for an $800,000 loan.


Seriously. Just pay him back!

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To put it lightly: party foul bro. On another note, ball lightning is pretty sick huh?

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"Alcohol-soaked tampon. Alcohol absorbs like fitty times faster through the pooper."

mic drop

Do people like this actually exist?

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Sit down Neil McCabe.

"It's just part of life, I think," proposes McCabe at one point, when he's confronted with the unavoidable fact that more than 130 people have already died from gun violence in the U.S. this year.

This is where Snow channels his inner GoT Jon Snow, and goes off in the most effective, yet vaguely stoic way possible.

"No, it's part of death, Mr. McCabe," responds Snow. "That's death. That's dead people, people who have died as a result of guns."

Stand up. Now leave Neil McCabe.

news-bradenton-burrito-heroin-drug-dealer-caught
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The suspect handed the Blake Medical Center employee a bag of food he said was for a patient. The employee then checked the food inside the bag, and discovered a syringe hidden inside the burrito.

In light of recent news, what's actually unhealthier though? This drug dealer's heroin-infused culinary twist on the traditional burrito? Or whatever slid out Chipotle's kitchen last summer amidst the Norovirus outbreak scandal?

What are the odds Jesse Pinkman had the car running? Walter White is not pleased with all this heat.