The TSA is hilarious. No really. When they aren’t making you take off your shoes, belt, and checking your loaded gun, they’re posting abandonded, sad-looking teddy bears on Instagram.
On their Instagram, which is usually reserved for weird weapons and laptops left at security, the TSA posted a picture of this abandoned plush bear, complete with sad backstory.
Why does this gigantic teddy bear look so sad? He was abandoned by his owners at LAX after the airline and TSA determined that he was just too big to be screened as a carry-on and taken on the plane. It’s a good idea to check with your airline prior to traveling with overly large items as carryons. If you see this wayward bear strolling the streets of LA, please feel free to feed him.
Not only is "feeding the bears" terrible advice that will get you eaten, but also they're just gonna throw thing in the street? Not exactly. Because it’s 2016 and every sad story has a cynical addendum that leaves us questioning this whole humanity thing, this turned out to be a hoax.
They later updated their post to include:
After watching a YouTube video posted by the traveler, we’ve learned that he’s a popular YouTuber and this was a stunt to see if he could get the giant bear on the plane. He even made up a backstory that the bear was a gift for his girlfriend. The bear did not belong to a child. The passenger had actually bought a ticket for the bear. After the airline and TSA decided the bear was too large, the airline offered to refund the ticket and the traveler was given the option of checking the bear as checked baggage. The traveler opted not to check the bear and left it behind.
Way to play with our emotions, TSA. Now, can I put my shoes back on.
Everyone in America knows that laptops grow on trees, and there’s no greater proof of this than the TSA’s massive collection of laptops.
The TSA tweeted last week that about 70 laptops — mostly expensive MacBooks by the looks of it — that were left behind at security. Whatever, these people will just walk over to the magic laptop tree and grab a new laptop.
People are regularly doing things like that. Mashable reports, “In a 2014 story, Capital Public Radio in Sacramento, California, reported that roughly 20,000 items, each priced at $500 or more, were left at checkpoints around the country. Those items eventually get sent to TSA's Virginia headquarters, while less valuable objects make their way to re-sale shops.”
If you’re one of the few people who cannot just walk over to the laptop tree and pick a new laptop, there are steps you can take. In addition to sending a message to the TSA on Twitter at or Facebook, you can call their Lost & Found. Just in case you forgot your loaded gun or fingernail thingy.
Michelle Dunaj, who is dying of leukemia, was Hawaii-bound for one of the last trips of her life. But the TSA in Seattle made it memorable for a different reason:
She called Alaska Airlines ahead of time to request a wheelchair and to ask how her medicines should be separated for the security line.
"I did everything they asked me to do, so I didn't think it would be an issue," she said.
But Dunaj says nothing went right at the security checkpoint. A machine couldn't get a reading on her saline bags, so a TSA agent forced one open, contaminating the fluid she needs to survive. She says agents also made her lift up her shirt and pull back the bandages holding feeding tubes in place. Dunaj needs those tubes because of organ failure. With other passengers staring, Dunaj says she asked for privacy and was turned down.
"They just said that it was fine; the location we were at was fine," she said.
TSA is responding to a request to look into the incident.