Walmart serves as something of a beacon to the chaotic, unexpected and purely strange instances that are bound to pop up when you have a massive store that caters to all walks of life. I'm not even trying to perpetuate a stereotype, negative or otherwise about Walmart right here; but instead, simply float the glaring reality that some weird, messed up shit transpires within those colosseums of consumerism.
You had me at "cookie fries."
If you've been to the Texas State Fair, you've probably eaten some of Isaac Rousso's famous award-winning treats like his funnel cake fries, deep-fried hash browns stuffed with bacon and cheddar cheese, smoky bacon margarita, deep fried Cuban rolls, fried Pop Tarts, and, yes, cookie fries.
Rousso has just won the right to open a restaurant in Plano Wal-Mart next week where he can serve these deep-fried artery-cloggers to Texas' poorest shoppers 365-days a year.
According to Eater Dallas, "The chain is also in talks about a "nation-wide" expansion, which would bring State Fair Treats to Walmart stores across the country depending on how things go in Texas."
Well, as for the cookie fries, they are described as deep-fried cookies that come in flavors like chocolate chip or sprinkles, and are shaped like a French fry and served with strawberry or milk chocolate sauce.
Okay, i'm game for that "nationwide [pants] expansion."
Wal-Mart road trip time.
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.
If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
"You'll turn into Patti LaBelle after eating this."
That's a promise YouTuber James Wright "Chanel" made in a musical review of the singer's new sweet potato pie. And the people listened.
Walmart's across the country are running out of the tasty pies.
Walmart representative John Forrest Ales confirmed to Yahoo Food that the sweet potato pies are selling like hot cakes (er, pies) at locations across the country. "For 72 hours, we were selling one per second," he told us. Ales wouldn't go into specifics about sales figures, but at $3.48 a pie, that works out to just under $1 million in sales over the weekend. The pie's product page is currently the most-visited food site on Walmart.com, Ales said.
Those who couldn't get a pie are pretty upset.
And if you can't wait for Walmart to stock back up, the $3.49 pies are being sold on Ebay for ridiculous prices.
Do you see anything wrong with this Walmart display?
A lot of people do. And they're calling it insensitive as best and racist at worst.
Some customers at a Walmart in North Las Vegas were outraged at a clothing display they say looks like people being hanged from the ceiling.
It may seems like a stretch to make the comparison—but is it really?
A local reporter went on the street to ask what people saw when they looked at the display.
"...A little like the Ku Klux Klan, black people hanging from the ceiling," said one woman.
Other said it looked like people being hanged, but some saw nothing.
Walmart has yet to respond to the situation, but the display has been taken down. Intent aside, it is clear that the display struck a chord with many who saw it.
Make sure you keep your gun oiled—if you know what we mean.
A video posted on Facebook last month is making the rounds, and it will have you on the floor laughing.
Jamie Lee Bracey came across a bottle of 'Gun Oil' lube at a Walmart in Alabama. The bottle was stocked in the firearms section and it caught his eye.
"Apply desired amount to genital areas," he read. "BOOM...they don't event know what they're selling. It's crazy."
That's right. Gun Oil is a personal lubricant popular with gay men. And some poor Walmart employee had no idea what they were doing.
Thank you, Alabama. The jokes just write themselves.
Walmart not only has falling prices, it’s also got strange men falling out of the ceiling.
A shoplifter was apprehended by security at a store in Mobile, Alabama last Wednesday after trying to walk away with a debit card, some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear.
They locked him up in the security office, but he mysteriously disappeared.
“He had climbed on a desk, jumped into the ceiling, then tried to escape,” said a witness named Brannan Lynn, who recorded the whole thing on his phone.
The suspect made his way to the entryway of the store where he then kicked he way through, dangling for a few minutes before hopping down to the ground.
He eventually ran into the parking lot and drove away in his car.
You can check out some more raw footage of the daring escape on LiveLeak.
Detective Dennis Harris said the woman agreed to try on several pairs of shoes at the discount store in Lincolnton, and that at some point during the process, the man stuck her foot in his mouth. Harris said the man apparently tried the same thing at another Wal-Mart 15 miles away, where he told a woman he was conducting a survey on the feet of different races and nationalities.
Yesterday, The New York Times published a story which outlined a bribery scandal at Walmart de Mexico and today, a video featuring VP of Corporate Communications, David Tovar, went out, claiming that the company has been investigating this matter while working with the Department of Justice. There is some comfort in knowing that when it comes to shady business practices, Walmart is not limited to keeping it stateside.