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Choose your own adventure... click on the image above and watch the double sided story. Make sure to press r during the video!

Here's a teaser vid:

A friend is always waiting.

Fracking (the condensed version):

- Drill a hole in the ground
- Pack that hole really tight (lol) with sand and water
- Earth around the hole fractures from the pressure (hence, "fracking")
- Valuable materials like petroleum and natural gas leak out of the fractures and into the hole
- Collect valuable materials
- ???
- PROFIT!!!!

Sounds good, right? Wrong. It carries a bunch of environmental and health risks, and, perhaps least importantly, many of the chemicals and materials associated with the fracking process literally stink. Badly.

Despite fracking sucking in numerous ways, the UK recently lifted its ban on companies using it to mine natural resources, which understandably has many of the UK's more environmentally conscious citizens in a fury. Enter, anti-fracking ads like this one.

This 7'4' troll is looking for a new roommate in the D.C. area and he's hoping that it will be you. Like all trolls, this fiscally responsible guy really cares about making sure rent is covered and other bills are paid (he especially cares about tolls). But don't let this payment punctuality overshadow his wild side. This kickball-loving, happy hour hopping wild wonder likes to have a good time.

About Me
I am 328 lbs, 7 feet tall (7' 4" if you count horn height), yellow/greenish eyes and a heart-warming smile. Happy hour? Free networking event? Kickball?... I'm there. I love being fiscally responsible and making sure all debts are paid, tolls collected, and budgets balanced.

Apartment Requirements
Space is no issue! I am great in tight spaces so am happy to claim an unused den or living room corner. I am also quite prepared to sleep under your bed or chill out in the closet. NOTE: I suffer from frequent, violent night terrors brought on by fiscal stress. So let's keep our budget in check when we're bunking up, OK? We will need to convene weekly budget meetings to discuss utility bills -- keeping costs down keeps spirits up!

Outstanding Questions
What is our toll rate for pedestrians walking by outside? Is it strictly enforced or a catch-and-release program? Do you have a dedicated sheep/goat herder, or do you just hire freelancers?

Interested in learning more about this guy? Check him out on Tumblr or follow him on Twitter. Maybe you'll be the next one to have him make your house a...bridge overpass.

Not to be culturally insensitive or anything, but New Jersey's Republican congressional candidate Shmuley Boteach is a hard name to forget.