Generally speaking we tend to fall on the "Jack of all trades, master of none" side of the expertise spectrum. Except when it comes to procrastinating. We're, like, really good at procrastinating. Because we're really good at finding memes. And here's a whole bunch for you.
alcohol
If you're anything like us, you may be finding yourself extremely bored this weekend. For some reason, even when we're trying to binge watch, the urge to stare at our phone is too great to resist. So while you find yourself trying to fill the void in your soul by multi-tasking, try scrolling through these tweets. They've got it all: wholesome Steve Irwin mentions, sad quarantine anecdotes, and "old people" lamenting the joys of aging in the modern world. And if you need more? We've got you covered.
There's no better way to celebrate an important occasion with a glass of champagne. For me, the novelty of champagne has never been about the taste of the alcohol, but rather the significant moment when the cork is popped out of the bottle. Little did I know that this pop is actually a miniature supersonic shock wave. Champagne just got even cooler.
It's been almost a decade since people started enjoying the schadenfreude and humor of reading drunk texts, but this sht just doesn't get old. And fortunately for all of us, until we all need to be certified sober to send texts, there will be an endless amount of wild and hilarious exchanges.
Warning: some of these *might be falsified, but we're gonna let that slide because they're still funny as hell.
Fridays are tough. The day promises freedom, and yet seems to drag longer than any other day of the week. The "light at the end of the tunnel" which for us, equals a cold beer, hard seltzer, or a glass of wine (or a martini if you're nasty) is all that's getting us through the day. Hopefully these memes will help you til you can head to the bar. Just remember to drink responsibly. After all, you wouldn't want to destroy your whole weekend of freedom, would you?
Y'all starting to feel that Sunday dread set in? Might as well lean into it and prepare yourself for all the amazing work you're going to do tomorrow. These work-related memes definitely embody our fears for Monday, so hopefully they'll make it so we're not in shock when that dreaded alarm rings.
Via Lost At E Minor
Thanksgiving’s coming up, and that’s not fun for anyone. You have to visit these people you didn’t even choose to be associated with, eat the driest bird, and hopefully not get into a fight with the people who raised and clothed you.
Wouldn’t it be great to get away to place where your cup is never empty.
Why not check out Abruzzo, Italy? Last month, the village installed a brand new wine fountain that flows with the red stuff that you crave 24/7. Yes, you read correctly, a fountain that pours red wine all day, everyday. It’s all you can drink brunch all the time. You can even check out the remains of Jesus’ disciple Thomas while there. Try not to cry.
The fountain is open now. Check it out.
So, let’s see: you can drink free wine, see some really old remains, and avoid a family argument? Seems like a no brainer.
Tune in for a knockout performance from Kevin Kline's Calvin Fischoeder. Real talk though: how about those ice skating moves from his brother Felix, who looks graceful as a freaking swan.
Anyone else in the mood for a glass of something strong and distilled now? Take life on the rocks with bourbon, bourbon, oh bourbon, bourbon.
Via BBC
Some Australian officials have begun clamoring for a limited ban on the national condiment Vegemite.
If you've ever tried the stuff, especially if you have an American palette, you may want the yeasty brown spread to be banned on its taste merits. But those officials have a different desire to get rid of the stuff, according to the BBC
Indigenous Affairs Minister Nigel Scullion described the salty spread as a "precursor to misery".
He said it was being bought in bulk to make moonshine.
Brewer's yeast is a key ingredient in the spread and is used in the production of beer and ale.
In communities where alcohol is banned because of addiction problems, Mr Scullion said Vegemite sales should also be restricted.
It's not something that Prime Minister Tony Abbott is espousing, but it has many champions in the right-leaning government of Australia.
See, but, the thing is: it's not possible to make alcohol out of vegemite.
As they detail in this Gizmodo article, you can't remove the brewer's yeast from the Vegemite.
that the yeast in Vegemite is deactivated as it's processed. As my wife said yesterday when we were talking about the story, trying to extract brewer's yeast from Vegemite would be like trying to extract an egg from a cake.
So, if you want to get the weird condiment banned, you're going to have to use its taste as the platform.
By Unknown
Three months ago, Tom Mabe tried to scare his friend into shape by pranking him into thinking he'd been coma for 10 years as a result of a drunk driving accident. One of Mabe's viewers saw the prank, and decided that his own friend could use a wake up call.
Watch the original below:
