america

bald eagles stuck in sewer
Via Fox News
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The animals are always the first to know.

In what some are considering a bit of symbolism for our country going down the drain, two bald eagles in — you guessed it — Florida decided to hammer home that metaphor by getting stuck in a drain. With their talons feet from being washed away by the waste water below, the two eagles cried out for a help as a nation looks on in horror, powerless to do anything.

Many are probably wondering, how did those eagles get in that storm drain? What were they doing so close to that storm drain? Don’t they know that storm drains are dangerous? Don’t they know that just because a storm drain hosted a reality TV show that doesn’t make it a qualified world leader? Questions that, you know, could only be applied to a situation in which two bald eagles get stuck in a storm drain.

via Gawker

Luckily, authorities from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission intervened and rescued the trapped metaphor. One of the eagles was taken to Audubon Center for Birds of Prey in Maitland to treat its injuries. The other was released, presumably to search out more storm drains because no matter how perfect this metaphor is, it’s worth repeating over and over.

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Kaley Cuoco Forced to Issue an Apology Because the Internet Has No Chill

The Big Bang Theory actress posted a photo of three decorated dogs to Instagram and her patriotic followers through a fit.

Her photo was obviously meant to be a cute act of patriotism, but some people don't have a life and decided to slam the actress for disrespecting 'Murica because two dogs were sitting on an American Flag.

The caption read, "Thank you @thepethandler for taking care of the squad while im out of town!" It was later removed.

instagram kaley cuoco fourth of july america - 854533
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Via CNN
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George Zimmerman claimed self-defense when he shot and killed a young, unarmed man named Trayvon Martin in 2012. He was acquitted of all charges and now he's selling the gun as "a piece of American history".  

Maybe his confederate flag business isn't doing so well? 

Bidding starts at $5,000 and he is literally planning to use some of the proceeds to fight Black Lives Matter activists, or as he put it according to the video "fight [Black Lives Matter] violence against law enforcement officers".

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Sit down Neil McCabe.

"It's just part of life, I think," proposes McCabe at one point, when he's confronted with the unavoidable fact that more than 130 people have already died from gun violence in the U.S. this year.

This is where Snow channels his inner GoT Jon Snow, and goes off in the most effective, yet vaguely stoic way possible.

"No, it's part of death, Mr. McCabe," responds Snow. "That's death. That's dead people, people who have died as a result of guns."

Stand up. Now leave Neil McCabe.

The Golden Globes Didn't Know the Difference Between America Ferrera and Gina Rodríguez
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America Ferrara, known for her role in Ugly Betty got to kick off the anouncements of the Golden Globes nominees.


via @ditzkoff

Uh.. wait, Golden Globes, why did you just say that was Gina Rodríguez? 
Gina Rodríguez was nominated for an award for her role in Jane the Virgin. There she is now!


via @JarettSays

No, no that's the same event as before. That's still America Ferrera!  

After being called out on the misidentification, TWICE, the Golden Globes' Twitter account seems to have deleted the offending tweets and started identifying America Ferrera as herself.

Neither actresses have commented but people are pretty mad about the mistake. Someone who's job includes knowing who celebrities are and Tweeting about them probably should have been able to figure it out. Or at least ask someone, or take one second to Google who was presenting the Golden Globes nominees. 

'MERICA of the Day: This Ordinary Family Christmas Card is Packing Some Serious Heat for the Holidays
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This lovely family belongs to Michele Fiore, a Nevada lawmaker. There's only one problem with this image, where are the toddler's guns? Don't they get guns? Maybe the little ones are exercising their right to concealed carrying. 


Via [8:46]
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People born after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 will never know that impact it had on those who experienced it firsthand and those who watched from around the world.

But this might give a slight glimpse into what happened that day.

A new virtual reality experience named [08:46] puts users in New York's World Trade Center as the tragic events of September 11 unfold.

The experience drops users in the North Tower moments before impact.

From the project's Oculus Share page:

Based on countless hours of research in order to try to properly recreate the atmosphere and dynamics within the top floors of the towers, [08:46] was designed and developed as a school project during three months by a six members team, working in close collaboration with two actors for mocap and voice acting.

You can download the project right here and try it out for yourself.

twitter popeinUS emoji pope america - 8567738880
Via Mashable
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Just ahead of Pope Francis' first visit to America, Twitter rolled out some new emojis to welcome the leader of the Catholic church.

The social media company explained the new emojis in a blog post.



As Pope Francis (@Pontifex) makes his historic journey to the US, there will undoubtedly be excitement and celebration surrounding his arrival – both in the cities he visits, and on Twitter. Considering the warm Twitter welcome he received shortly after being named Pope, we anticipate many devotees will flock to Twitter to savor his visit.

No matter where you are, we want to make it easy for you to follow right along with his journey. We also wanted to offer a bit of fun to the proceedings, so today you'll start to see special Twitter Emojis that celebrate his historic visit to the US. To see the emojis appended to the end of the hashtag, simply Tweet your messages using these hashtags:



They also offered a list of notable accounts to follow during his six-day visit and a chart of the increased Twitter traffic it has caused.



Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey welcomed the Holy See with the new emoji:



And others have joined as he arrived.









Welcome to America, Your Popiness!

Swiftkey maps out the most used emojis per state.
Via Swiftkey
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No matter which state you call home, you probably use emojis when expressing your various feelings.

Well, Swiftkey, makers behind the popular alternative smartphone keyboard, has taken their billions of emojis used and mapped them according to which state uses which picture emotion most.

A lot of them are really pretty obvious.

For instance, Washington state uses the music and coffee emojis most.



And Arizona uses the cactus and cooling ice cream the most.



Others are just interesting collections of a specific state's most pressing emotional ...um... state.

Like, Illinois panics the most about drugs and spaghetti. Probably because of Chicago.



New York is the strongest, dances the most and uses the Statue of Liberty most, obvs.



And we know you were wondering which state uses the poo emoji most.

It's Vermont.



Which one do you use the most and does your state represent it?

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Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."



Anyone who stops by The Big Texan can take the challenge, but if they don't finish their meal in an hour they have to pay $72.

Schuyler not only got the 3 free meals, but also a $5,000 prize… and apparently an extended trip to the bathroom.

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Presenting the Sarcastic States of America

A European asked American redditors to summarize their home state in a single sentence to better understand the differences between the states. The results were... well... pretty cynical.

Looks like some people have some moving to do!

Sarcastic States Of America - Mississippi quote about 49th place cover image
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Via jim huish
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Here's the "Pitch Perfect" way to shoot off your finger.

Jim Huish from the Tennessee-based band Amber's Drive recently performed Anna Kendrick's hit single "Cups."

But instead of using actual cups, he opted for an AR15, an AK47 (AK74), a CZ75 and a Walther P22.

There are still some Solo cups involved, but they just get riddled with bullets.

Via ABC
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Way to make a first impression America.

While practicing takeoffs and landings in Brisbane ahead of this weekend's G20 summit, an Osprey U.S. military helicopter accidentally blew large dust clouds into 6 lanes of nearby traffic, causing a standstill.

Fortunately no accidents were reported, according to The Courier Mail.

In related news, Australia now hates us.

Via WGHP
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Move over Alex from Target, meet Alan from Olive Garden.

North Carolina resident Alan Martin "won" a "Never Ending Pasta Pass" for $100 at his local Olive Garden, and he has used it to eat 95 meals over the last six weeks - or what amounts to about $1,510 worth of food.

Only 1000 of the passes were sold, and he says his goal is to eat more than any of the others.

Meanwhile, in Sub-Saharan Africa…

wtf america amazing science idiots g rated School of FAIL - 8062991360
By Unknown
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Americans are enthusiastic about the promise of science but lack basic knowledge of it, with one in four unaware that the Earth revolves around the Sun, said a poll out Friday.

The survey included more than 2,200 people in the United States and was conducted by the National Science Foundation.

Ten questions about physical and biological science were on the quiz, and the average score -- 6.5 correct -- was barely a passing grade.