The user responsible for sharing this gem of a troll heist with us was quoted in the original photo saying, "I don't know about you guys, but I already found my new role model for 2017." Yo. Right there with you.
apple
For some forsaken reason Apple recently robbed iOS users of the glorious peach emoji's original design, which resembled a butt. Well many angry and confused, and sad tweets later it looks like all is right in the world again, and Apple has reintroduced the 'peach butt emoji'...and naturally, the crowd went wild.
Apple announced the iPhone 8 and iPhone X on Tuesday, September 12th. Some people are freaking out about the iPhone X's jaw-dropping price, while others are more concerned about their new facial recognition software - which will be used to unlock the phone. The internet is already rife with memes about the iPhone's unlocking methods, so it comes as no surprise that this announcement caused a stir.
The announcement has inspired memes regarding actual security concerns (government agencies having access to your face) to the more predictable theme of Game of Thrones' faceless men. How do you feel about this announcement? We might care more...if we could afford it.
Another year, another small iPhone update touted as "revolutionary" and "life-changing." Pssshhh. 4chan knows better than that. Time to "cook" up another scheme to reel in another "wave" of gullible iPhone users.
Via Tinder
Tinder, the hugely successfully dating app, will soon be a party game for the whole family.
Just in time for the holidays, Tinder comes to Apple TV, which the company is hoping will make for a new Christmas tradition: Helping your sad child with their sad dating life.
In a press release, Tinder announced their excitement for making Tinder a part of family bonding time. For some reason Tinder is really invested in the idea of the family gathering around the TV and deciding who you hook up with next. In a press release, they pitch a scenario:
“No phones at the dinner table? No problem. Now you can spot Swipe Right potential from across the room. Need a second opinion before you Super Like? Good news: the cousins from Omaha just rolled in. Plus, why swipe alone when you can let Aunt Donna have a say? She’s known you since you were two; she’s watched you grow. If she says you should Swipe Right on that nice girl in the penguin costume, you Swipe Right on that nice girl in the penguin costume. Seriously man, show Aunt Donna some respect.”
They are really concerned with Aunt Donna, considering “she’s known you since you were two; she’s watched you grow.” This is very gross.
The instructions stay on brand:
- Go to the App Store on your Apple TV and download Tinder.
- Follow the instructions on screen to log in.
- Start swiping! With Tinder on Apple TV, you can: Click the trackpad to view more details about a profile Swipe Left, Swipe Right and Super Like by Swiping Up Shake the remote to Rewind your swipe if you're a Tinder Plus subscriber.
- When you're done swiping, sign out and give your friends (or sister) a chance to swipe.”
Yeah, let your sister have a turn. Enjoy Tinder with your sister, Aunt Donna, and the rest of your family because that’s not weird at all.
Anyway, Tinder is coming to Apple TV with a new remote so you can blankly swipe left or right and hope that someone writes you back. Only now, your family can help you choose who you hook up with. How did we ever get by without having Tinder to gross us out?
They have a whole host of videos of the family enjoying Tinder together — again, this is such a strange ad campaign. You can check them out here, if you want to get lost in the saga that is this family using Tinder together.
Via @TSAmedia_LisaF
Everyone in America knows that laptops grow on trees, and there’s no greater proof of this than the TSA’s massive collection of laptops.
The TSA tweeted last week that about 70 laptops — mostly expensive MacBooks by the looks of it — that were left behind at security. Whatever, these people will just walk over to the magic laptop tree and grab a new laptop.
People are regularly doing things like that. Mashable reports, “In a 2014 story, Capital Public Radio in Sacramento, California, reported that roughly 20,000 items, each priced at $500 or more, were left at checkpoints around the country. Those items eventually get sent to TSA's Virginia headquarters, while less valuable objects make their way to re-sale shops.”
If you’re one of the few people who cannot just walk over to the laptop tree and pick a new laptop, there are steps you can take. In addition to sending a message to the TSA on Twitter at or Facebook, you can call their Lost & Found. Just in case you forgot your loaded gun or fingernail thingy.
Clarksburg, MD, man showed up at a Dulles Airport @TSA checkpoint with this gun yesterday. Claimed he forgot he had his loaded gun with him. pic.twitter.com/cjwYkfIuEs
— TSAmediaLisaF (@TSAmediaLisaF) December 1, 2016
For better control in video editing, photo editing, or just sending emojis, the new Apple MacBook Touch Bar has a lot of perks, but Apple still buried the lead on this one.
Apparently, you can play a super smushed version of Doom on this thing.
Sure, the Touch Bar is a great way to bring Apple Pay and Predictive Text to the desktop. Replacing the physical function keys at the top of the keyboard, the Touch Bar is a digital interface that's touch sensitive and totally customizable. It’s another great innovation from Apple that allows a wider range of control for users. More importantly, you can play a version of Doom on it that looks like it was crushed by a vice.
Developer Adam Bell crammed the 1993 classic in all of its glory to run on the the narrow 2,160 x 60 pixel OLED touchscreen. Is it pretty? Hell no. Is it pointless? Absolutely.
Announced at the Apple Event in October, the Touch Bar was the centerpiece of the new MacBook Pro laptops. The tech giant hoped to bring some of the benefits of touchscreen computing that has revolutionized handheld products, like the iPad and the iPhone. In doing so, they have given developers yet another place to stick the class video game Doom, and we’re all better for it.
Via Twelve South
Ew, you're still using an iPhone 7? How quaint.
Despite being just eight weeks old, the iPhone 7 is already old hat, as rumors of the iPhone 8 have already begun to surface. A report from the Nikkei Asian Review says that tests at Foxconn, the infamous iPhone production plant, have started. After all, the iPhone 7 is really old and can barely even function anymore.
Let's breeze past the obvious new features of the iPhone 8. It will likely be the thinnest, lightest, and fastest iPhone ever, with the best camera ever put in an iPhone. Cool. Where's the good stuff?
"Hon Hai Precision Industry, better known as Foxconn Technology Group, is making wireless charging modules," says Nikkei. Finally, wireless charging, and to think, the iPhone 7 (remember that thing?) still uses a wire.
The addition of wireless charging should please iPhone 7 users. If you can recall about 60 days ago, Apple took a “courageous” step and removed headphone jacks from their phones, leaving just one port to charge the battery and listen to music. But who can even remember such things? It was so long ago.
One thing's for sure, these are all unconfirmed rumors, and we have no idea when the next iPhone will actually be released. In the meantime, you'll just have to stick it out with your decrepit iPhone 7. Who knows? Maybe 2017 will be the year we finally get the Transformer iPhone.
Via The Verge
Apple's new Macbook doesn't just give feels, it requires them.
Announcing a new line of Macbooks today, Apple introduced the world to the Touch Bar, a digital interface that lives at the top of the keyboard, replacing the function keys. The Touch Bar gives users a whole new range of control on things like video editing, audio recording, and sending emojis.
Despite announcing new AppleTV software and accessibility features, this event was about two things for people: Touch Bar and Price. With two new Macbooks coming in at $1,799 for a 13" model and $2,399 for a 15" model, many were pretty surprised and somewhat baffled by the price increase.
via @SeniNgaShqiperi
via @Ali_Thoughts
via @BenBajarin
Via Apple
Mashable reports that there is a way to charge your new iPhone 7 AND use headphones at the same time: by buying a $39 phone dock to charge your phone on and plug your headphones into THAT.
Contrary to popular belief over on Planet Apple, however, we humans do NOT like to be tethered to the wall in order to listen to music on our ALREADY-OWNED high-end headphones when our battery is low, so we'd prefer a better setup, thanks.
So until further notice, Apple, we are still needing you to make a splitter that will allow headphones AND a charging cable, but at least there is this quick fix to help in the meantime:
Thanks, third party suppliers!
Via Apple
Today, Apple announced new wireless earbuds called "AirPods" and Twitter went wild:
Searching my #AirPods after #AppleEvent 😁 pic.twitter.com/ymiHQvz0Lo
— Amit Panchal (@AmitHPanchal) September 7, 2016
Via Apple
Apple is releasing a bunch of new emoji, many of them include women doing more things than getting their hair done or wearing a tiara. This should be good news to the lady denizens of the internet who have been asking for these emojis for... years, maybe?
But hey, if for some reason you're upset at all the new emojis for women, never fear. The dancing bunny gals got a gender parity emoji added as well:
via apple
The real topic of controversy is actually centered around Apple's decision to totally remove guns from the line up. They've opted to replace it instead with an adorable, green squirt gun. Some people hate this decision, a lot:
via @DanicaPatrick, @SwiftOnSecurity, @BrianMediner, @kylethale
Others are a little more accepting or just don't care.
via @BiggChris_76, @AnthonyCumia, @TonyLoweYoYoYo, @PDbitchwork
Okay, they mainly just don't care. Who's out there texting people pictures of guns anyway?
