bacon

We’ve reached peak bacon.

Believing that everyone wants to enjoy a salty kiss, the manufacturer Accoutrements introduces Bacon Lip Balm, the only lip balm that lets your friends know that you need help.

Yes, we’ve seen bacon take the country by storm over the last few years, leading to bacon floss and air freshener. Though, few things should let your loved one know that you have a problem quite like this bacon flavored lip balm. In fact, upon kissing you, they’ll probably back up complaining that their lips burn, like you eat Tostitos without any salsa.

The Amazon description boasts the lip balm:

• Heals Dry and Cracked Lips
• Bacon Fresh
• Wonderful Bacon Smell

One can only imagine with the expression “Bacon Fresh” actually means.

Anyway, if you’re one of those people the pretends bacon or having a beard makes you an interesting person, today is your luck day. If not, please move along.

via NeonMob

H/T The Daily Dot

Cigarettes, asbestos, bacon—what do these three things all have in common?

Cancer.

The World Health Organization announced today that bacon, sausage and other processed meats are ranked alongside deadly known carcinogens.

The investigation involved 22 scientists invited by the WHO's International Agency for Research on Cancer to look at links between 16 cancers and processed meats.

Processed meat now falls into "group 1," putting it alongside tobacco smoking.

The Internet didn't take the news very well.

Of course there's a study claiming bacon causes cancer. It's something that brings people joy.

— rstevens ☕️ (@rstevens) October 26, 2015

When you read the headline saying bacon causes cancer https://t.co/8CgiCBSJ6t

— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) October 26, 2015

Bacon causes cancer? Well I'm going to try to eat it all so no one else has to suffer. Not all heroes wear capes.

— Ol' QWERTY Bastard (@TheDiLLon1) October 26, 2015

"smoking causes cancer" ugh gross i would never smoke i'm gonna live forever "nitrates in bacon cause cancer" well i have to die somehow

— rufous nightjar (@post_prufrock) October 26, 2015

So, a very upset Englishman had a problem that would only happen in your nightmares.

His girlfriend let the cat eat his bacon and he desperately wants the police to come in and assert some justice. His suffering cannot be measured and has sent shockwaves across the globe for those who crave righteousness for such a heinous situation.

News outlets are reporting it even over the pond.:

An Englishman called the emergency line for the West Yorkshire Police recently to report that his girlfriend had let his feline eat his bacon. And not only that, but he wanted to move forward with charges on both the kitty and the girlfriend.

Here's a video that includes the audio of that very important emergency phone call in question:

If this man cannot find justice, where does it exist in the world?

Imagine if you never had pay for bacon ever again… or at least for the next 20 years.

Well now that’s a possibility, thanks to the Hoosier Lottery in Indiana.

They have unveiled a new $2 scratch off game this week called “Bringin’ Home the Bacon,” which is both bacon-scented and gives you the chance to win 20 years worth of the artery-clogging deliciousness.

You can also win up to $10k in cash to pay for all those medical bills from your cardiologist.

The website promoting the new ticket includes a bacon quiz, bacon recipes, a link to Facebookasking you debate Tongs vs Forks, and a “Bacon Cam” where you can watch some strips sizzle in a frying pan.

There are also various events around the state associated with the game (in partnership with Indiana Pork), including one at the Indiana State Far in August.

Now you can gamble with your money and your health.

Thanks ‘Murica!

From USA Today:

Today, the innovative budget pizza chain will unveil plans to nationally roll out on Feb. 23 the Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza. At $12, the limited-time offer will be one of Little Caesars' priciest pizzas.

"Every time you take a bite out of the crust, you'll get bacon," says David Scrivano, CEO at Little Caesars. The pizza also comes with pepperoni and has bacon sprinkled on top. The promotion replaces the chain's Soft Pretzel Crust Pizza.

In celebrating the American tradition of gluttony fest that we call Thanksgiving, a group of YouTube's most-well known food vloggers from Epic Meal Time, My Drunk Kitchen and Feast of Fiction team up to cook up a greasy smörgåsbord for Someone Cares Soup Kitchen.

Old and busted: bacon on a cheeseburger. New hotness: a 100% bacon burger, made of ground, deep-fried bacon and served with a side of fried jalapeños.

You have Peppers and Smoke to thank for this monstrosity.

[nerdalicious.]

J&D's Bacon Salt, maker of a variety of bacon-themed and bacon-flavored products, has created a way to take your love of everyone's favorite wonderful, magical animal with you to the grave: a bacon-patterned coffin.

You can make this box of "18-gauge gasketed steel with premium bacon exterior/interior" your final resting place for the low price of $4,999 -- no returns accepted.

Ron Swanson has probably already made his arrang

Wonderful, Magical Animal of the Day: Researchers at Detroit Medical Centre say they managed to stop a patient's life-threatening nosebleed by stuffing bacon up her nose.

"Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly, effectively, and without sequelae," write the four authors of a paper publi

Early Bird Special: It's Friday! So here's a delicious-looking recipe for bacon-wrapped eggs.

[wtc. (nsfw)]

Sign Of The Times of the Day: A Ron Swanson bacon special spotted at a Trader Joe's.

However, as Eater's Raphael Brion rightfully points out, the real Ron Swanson likely wouldn't do his food shopping at Trader Joe's. Far too fancy.

Also: Not nearly enough stuff.

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