Here are some of this week's top shower thoughts, but with a twist. Welcome to the greatest philosophical insights of the average Joe all about biology. They'll make you question everything you thought you knew about how we work, our body parts, and all the other random crap out there in the universe.
And in case you missed last week's top shower thoughts, here they are. And here's another batch of shower thoughts for you in case this got you in the mood.
People found themselves petrified with fear and overwhelmed by paleontoligists' recently shared findings about the 100-million-year-old hagfish slime's capabilities. This eerie, eel-like creature sounds like it swam and slithered right out of a feverish nightmare. If you're curious to learn more about why you'd never want to see one of these in the wild, check out the original article that sent everyone into a frenzy, here.
Sometimes you see something and with your whole heart and soul you wonder "what the hell is that?" Thanks to the pool of geniuses over at r/whatisthisthing, mysteries like this are posed and solved every day. May the internet make it so that we'll never have to not know anything ever again. Okay, except maybe when you find mysterious items in your dad's toolbox. Maybe it'd be best to not know the truth behind those.
You've probably seen at least a few of the pictures of exotic locales with some of the craziest, and sometimes dangerous jellyfish in the world. But this monstrous specimen was found in the English Channel of all places, off of the coast of Cornwall. Better still, the jellyfish appeared out of the murk on the last day of Wild Ocean Week, which was a day to promote local fish species and understanding of the species living all around them, as well as to raise money for the Marine Conservation Society.
Zookeepers have strange and interesting jobs compared to what most of us do all day, so seeing them imitate animals makes us excited but also virulently jealous. Zookeepers at the Minnesota Zoo took photos of themselves as the animals they work with, and it makes us want to look for a job openings at the zoo. Our favorite is the millipede.
We've got some seriously bad news for fish-lovers. According to a report from nonprofit Oceana, over 20% of 449 fish that they tested were mislabeled, exposing some pretty serious "fish fraud." This is a staggering percentage, especially when considering that less than 1% of fish is tested for fraud. There's a huge chance that the expensive fish you're ordering while dining out is cheap - or even, according to this related Twitter thread from a biology professor, dangerous. There are fish out there that will hurt you to eat. And, as @AwesomeBioTA's class discovered, some of this "fish" is almost too disgusting for words.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson made a lot of people (and presumably ducks, cats and bedbugs) angry with a much less than true fact about sex and evolution. His claim, that sex doesn't hurt any species had many Twitter users jumping to correct him. 
via @RachelFeltman, @SciPhile, @ClaireConnelly, @carlzimmer, @DreadMorgan
And you might be thinking, he's just trying to be positive about human sexuality and say, in his own pseudoscientific way that it's healthy and painless for humans. But... that's actually not true either:
via @DebbyHerbenick, @mikamckinnon
Sure, he's a scientist but cut him some slack, he's not that kind of scientist. He studied astrophysics, how's he supposed to check his facts at all before Tweeting about biology?
via my-little-talks
What you're seeing is a bloom of phytoplankton in the North Atlantic Ocean. These microscopic organisms are very important to the environment and might even influence clouds and the climate.
This image was taken by the Suomi NPP satellite. Data from chlorophyll in the phytoplankton was combined with red, green and blue bands from the satellite's imaging system to make this picture. The mission of the satellite is to keep track of climate change and weather.
It's also pretty good at taking amazing pictures of Earth.
Some images taken from the satellite look a lot more like weather forecasts than gorgeous water colors but the phytoplankton blooms are actually a pretty normal occurrence. 
Last summer, rapper Juicy J announced via Twitter that he was going to award "...a 50K scholarship to the best chick that can twerk." Despite the huge response from fans, Juicy insists that twerking was not an actual requirement to win. "50K is a lot of money and I don't want to waste it on some chick twerkin' her ass," he says. "Next time I send a Tweet out about a scholarship take it serious and read the words!"
He awarded the money to Zaire Holmes, a 19-year-old mother and student at the State College of Florida who did read all of the rules and explained in a video (which she did not twerk in) why she deserved the money. "A lot of people thought you had to twerk, but you actually had to read the rules," explains Holmes. "I'm a biology major so the scholarship would be able to cover all of my lab expenses."
Smoking GIF
Here is an amazing gif of two sets of lungs being filled with air. One pair was that of a smoker and the other was that of a non-smoker. Can you guess which is which?
