books

Can’t wait for the movie! 

The new book Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration by David King is for sale on Amazon.

I'm GONE pic.twitter.com/MQTqEuRlJr

— enema ai (@jigokunt) December 29, 2016

By all accounts, it’s a real book. There’s a jacket, a spine, paper pages, etc. By all accounts David King is a real author. The cover even declares him a “political analyst.” By all accounts, the unaccredited review on the cover, which reads “‘Refreshingly honest’” underneath five stars, is a real review. It has to be real or else why would they put it there?

The information inside supports this argument. King’s latest treatise on that why reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last month deserves trust, respect, and admiration is completely empty, not a word in it. It’s filled with blank, empty pages. Any question? The book’s description clears up any questions:

“This book is full of blank pages. Despite years of research, we could not find anything to say on this subject, so please feel free to use this book for notes.”

Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration is on sale now for $7.99. It’s Prime ready and the page features this advertisement:

Does that mean Why Trump Deserves Trust, Respect and Admiration is one of the best books of 2016? Probably not, but it really makes you think. 

DJ Khaled is an author now.

His book, "The Keys" hits stores this November 22nd, and will be found near the "Success, Motivation & Self-Esteem" section on your local bookstore's shelves.

The hip-hop producer promises to provide such tips for success as "don't drive your jet ski in the dark."




His publisher is promising that the book will answer your pressing questions, like "[breaking] down the philosophy behind his trending catchphrases, including 'another one,' 'secure the bag,' 'special cloth alert,' 'bless up' and more."

The book description sounds more like Khaled is fleeing from an oppressive Scientology group than writing from a producer's perspective (who are the THEY he is afraid of?):



Buy a signed copy at a bargain price (shocker) here.

Graeme Whiting, the principal of a British private school suggested that fantasy books like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones (to name a few) can damage the subconscious of a child and cause mental illness. In this longer than necessary blog post he talks about how by the age of 30 he had read all the books he wanted to and that children don't have "thinking brains" until at least the age of 14.  

He prefers that kids stick to the classics that aren't "sensationalized" with tales of magic or anything interesting. 

This has led many critics to ask several questions such as, "Does he seriously think Game of Thrones is for kids?" and "What kind of boring Shakespeare plays is he reading?"


via @fangirllikeapro, @DanielJWrites, @RebellionPub, @abaddondave,

It's not that surprising but some old prints of Harry Potter books can net you thousands of dollars if you're willing to part with your childhood reading material. Like with many collectors items, the price varies by edition and rarity.

According to the Independent, the most valuable Harry Potter books are first edition hardcovers of "The Philosopher's Stone" from 1997. In these books JK Rowling was credited as 'Joanne Rowling' and there were only 500 copies made, 300 of which became library books.

A find that that could be worth up to $50,000.


via Independent

In a recent long-winded, tell-all blog post the creator of Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin delivered some heavy felt news; we won't have our hands on the 'Winds of Winter' for some time now.

This means Martin's missed another crucial deadline, and perhaps almost worse, season six of the show will now air before it's original source material hits shelves.

Martin explains a bit on what's going on in the following excerpt from his 1800-word long blog post:

Believe me, it gave me no pleasure to type those words. You're disappointed, and you're not alone. My editors and publishers are disappointed, HBO is disappointed, my agents and foreign publishers and translators are disappointed... but no one could possibly be more disappointed than me. For months now I have wanted nothing so much as to be able to say, "I have completed and delivered THE WINDS OF WINTER" on or before the last day of 2015. But the book's not done. Nor is it likely to be finished tomorrow, or next week. Yes, there's a lot written. Hundreds of pages. Dozens of chapters. (Those 'no pages done' reports were insane, the usual garbage internet journalism that I have learned to despise). But there's also a lot still left to write. I am months away still... and that's if the writing goes well. (Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't.) Chapters still to write, of course... but also rewriting. I always do a lot of rewriting, sometimes just polishing, sometimes pretty major restructures.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed the unexpectedly long wait is worth it.

Fun fact: Shia Labeouf has been arrested five times.

Even more fun fact: He made a "terrific egg sandwich" during his last incarceration.

The actor and walking performance art piece gabs about his many run-ins with the law in Prison Ramen, a new book about celebrities and how being locked up has affected them.

Let's break down Shia's arrests from E! News:

That time he stole some Nike Cortezes.

"I have been incarcerated five times. The first time I was only nine years old. It was in Pacoima, California. I was arrested for stealing a pair of Nike Cortezes from a local shop and held for six hours," he writes.

That time he stole a Gameboy Pokémon.

"The second time I was eleven, in the city of Tujunga, California. I was arrested for stealing a Gameboy Pokémon from Kmart. That time, too, I was in a substation for about six hours," he continues.

That time he tried to stab his neighbor.

"The third time I was twenty, in Van Nuys, California. I tried to stab my neighbor and spent two days in jail. While I was there, I at least understood that being in jail is not the move," he admits. "It sucks ass."

That time he wouldn't leave Walgreen's and that time he disrupted a Broadway show.

"The fourth time I was in Chicago and I wouldn't leave Walgreen's, so I was taken to spend the night in jail. For some reason, I had the best sleep ever," he writes. "The most recent time was 2014, when I was twenty-eight and in New York City. I went to see the play Cabaret. I didn't behave very well during the performance and ended up spending twenty-five hours or so behind bars..."

Shia Labeouf: Rebel, Outlaw, The People's Criminal

Your kids may never sleep again.

Jack Zipes, a professor emeritus of German and comparative literature at the University of Minnesota, has released the first English translation of the original book of fairy tales by brothers Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm.

The first edition was published in December 1812, and over the years, the stories went through a gradual transformation, edited to be less disturbing and and to include more Christian references.

"The Original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm: The Complete First Edition" included all the really creepy stuff that was originally filtered out.


For example, in the heartwarming tale "How the Children Played at Slaughtering":

A boy cuts the throat of his little brother, only to be stabbed in the heart by his enraged mother. Unfortunately, the stabbing meant she left her other child alone in the bath, where he drowned. Unable to be cheered up by the neighbours, she hangs herself; when her husband gets home, "he became so despondent that he died soon thereafter".

Look out "Frozen." Sounds like Disney has its new princess!

What's better than hearing Samuel L. Jackson tell a bunch a of kids to go the f--k to sleep?

Hearing Bryan Cranston tell a bunch of kids that they have to f--king eat, that's what.

The "Breaking Bad" star narrates the new children's book by Adam Mansbach, which is available for free on Amazon through December 12.

And you know what happens if you don't eat, right?



Here's a clip of the audiobook: